loved yesterday;

Moved

2009-01-09T00:06:00.000-08:00

I'm so lazy to blog now that i've started to Lj.
I am going to fail every single test from monday to thursday.

By the way, I use livejournal now. I'll give you the address if you ask for it, or if i think you're nice enough. [:

Square One

2009-01-02T07:19:00.000-08:00

I may be stupid, but i'm not dumb.

It's finally here!

2008-12-31T20:05:00.000-08:00

Happy 2009 to all!

New year's eve was spent in the most unexpected way and with the most unexpected company. Thanks to Chris Toh, i actually enjoyed how my New year's eve turned out to be [:

My lucky number '09 has finally appear on all the calenders across the globe! I should do '08 some justice thou so i'm just gonna sum up last year for abit. It definitely wasn't the best year i had as i already mentioned in my previous post, but it was definitely the year in which i learnt the most about myself through the eyes of others around me. Thanks to a bunch of people from the TSD class of '08, i got a reality check and was slapped back into reality. 'Thou it was a really depressing period of time when everything seemed to be going the wrong way, it was easy to see what was so very wrong in the beginning. I definitely grew up there and then. [: Good luck to everyone for TSD A's next year! Let's kick everyone else's butt! (or die trying to haha)

'08 was also the year that The Eight met up the most as a group (i think), it's the year that one more member of the group left us (Vicki dear!) and it's the year that new additions came in the form of boys. Haha! It's nice to have a close bunch of friends who've been with me all the way since primary school. Well, i guess we really are the coolest gang since primary school!
I think i made the most number of new friends in '08 as well, and became close to the people i least expect to. Like how i discovered the very fierce looking junguang is in fact a very nice gentle giant and confidant and like how the seemingly anti-social daniel wee is such a joker. Although there were some who came and went like how the river flows, everyone was pretty much important to me in different ways, at different periods of the year.

I had many firsts in '08 as well, some of which i shouldn't be proud of but hey it was an experience okay? Hahaha, First time i skipped school (PAE) with a bunch of friends and went to play pool in the middle of a schoolday. ( Jude, Clarissa, Yuki, Fym, Bryan and i can't remember who else was there! ) The first time i skipped a lesson, Wendy Lee's, and got totally busted for it! First time i ran for an independent candidate election (council), first time i started playing shooter for netball. First time i sang in a band thou it was for just one performance the guys were all so nice, first time i got to go out more than i usually can. First time i felt the overwhelming emotion of loss but thank goodness it's not too late to look back again [: First time i get a hefty fine for returning library books late..thanks to... nevemind... Haha. First time i ran a marathon, and it's definitely not gonna be my last one! There're so many first times i can't even remember all of then anymore. But you get my point.

Well, hopefully there's gonna be a 180 degree difference in '09, and i'm gonna work towards that. I will follow my list of resolutions closely. Lucky number '09, here i come! [:

Oh yes, i can finally start learning driving soon!

Fairytale

2008-12-30T06:55:00.000-08:00

To smile like this again;

Just got home from the cheesecake outing which comprised of(most unfortunately) Kevin, Gloria, Ben and I. Rena as well but she was just around for a short while: Dinner. Don't know exactly what got into me, but i've just got this random urge to blog.

2008's gonna be over in approximately 25 hours and while people are probably busy thinking up new year resolutions that they might never fulfil, i'm just stuck in a blank state of mind. This definitely hasn't been the best year of my life, but looking back at it again i know i wouldn't change anything if i could live it all over again. everything happens for a reason and no matter how lousy some things might have turned out to be, i guess there's always something to learn from it. But i'm tired. I don't want to live next year going having to go through lousy business again just to gain a tad of enlightenment anymore. Like how i already know i will fail my A levels in an absolutely unglamorous fashion if i don't study hard next year, I probably already know of the lessons i've learnt from all the incidences that've happened earlier this year. Well, just maybe.

For so long i've been looking out for a perfect person, And perfect in my definition being: of above average intelligence, relatively good looking, respectable Character/EQ, fairly well-to-do and yeah i think that's about it so far. I haven't found anyone. Of course people would say how everyone's special in their own way and yes i agree with that very, nice way of expressing how everyone is imperfect. Well, i don't know. I've been searching for perfection for so long and somehow not being able to find it has left me unexpectedly disappointed in the human race. It was, a rather ridiculoussearch and fortunately, i've finally leart how to realize how imperfections make people... well.. THEM.

I have to stop going about in circles, and talking random rubbish. In a nutshell i just wanna thank everyone. Thank you to all the people who were part of my life this year, and i love every single one of you out there. There's so much to rant about like how there was an annoying, and rather impolite man on the MRT today but no. I'm done with being sour and picking on people's imperfections.

Hello 2009.

Double Post

2008-12-26T06:58:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all the lovely people in the world [:

So i finally overcame my laziness and got myself to blog about the various things that've been going on during this season. I guess i've got so much i wanna say that the thought of it just makes me wanna sleep it off. But, here goes:

Spent the eve of Christmas eve with the girls and boyfriends (and my bestie russell chan) at theresa's place. It started off with abit of a laugh 'cause my dear champion was waiting at me for at the bus stop of chris tan's house, instead of toh's. And he ended up alighting 2 stops earlier after boarding bus 5 'cause he thought he missed the stop. All that drama, apparently we share this terrible communication breakdown syndrome everytime he makes an attempt to come to my area. I thought i was gonna be late 'cause tara said 6pm at tree's but it's taralyn so of course, that meant about 8pm. So Russ, Theresa and I patiently waited for the rest to come over until we couldn't take it anymore 'cause our stomachs were making the weirdest noise by 8pm. The gang finally arrived, with the turkey and all (yay!) and we settled for dinner at about 21 30. Dinner was gooood i loved the beef (thank you so much pohmeng!) I not-so-secretly (because i said it to angeline and poh meng in their faces) think that angeling and poh meng should get married. And honestly, they might very well be the first couple in our group to wed. Hur hur hur but we can never predict the future so let's just leave that for now. We exchanged our little gifts for each other and shared/stole chocolate with/from the boys. We bought them Royce okay, it amazes me that we're so very generous with their presents and not with our own. Hahaha but all was good plus, Chris Toh bought us all donuts when he got back! What a sweetheart he was! (that night luh and it's cause of the donuts HAHA) We proceeded to take about 200 pictures in the same position and pose trying to do a sad face totally killed us 'cause we couldn't stop laughing and the night ended off (for me at least 'caus tara ange and poh meng stayed over at tree's, claire and YT cabbed off) with everyone walking me home. I swear, we were like a bunch of noisy asses terrorising the streets at midnight, i hope we weren't that much of a nuiscence but it's no hamr to have wacky fun once in a while is it (:

Christmas eve was spent catching Bedtime Stories with Jave, then rushing off to Russell's house for the barbecque. We spent the night talking and laughing and drinking and fighting and.... breaking a glass... and very randomly meeting my primary school friends Tiara and Stacey who are now very hot women of my age (dammit! hahaha).

I loved how my christmas was spent with the most important and closest people in my life, it just made me feel so lucky, and most importantly, truely happy. I am however, disappointed that i didn't celebrate christmas with my fmily, simply because we don't celebrate it (not this year anyway). It felt so odd, like there was this huge missing piece through the whole christmas period. It's wasn't something i wanted, it felt awful. But i couldn't just suddenly suggest celebrating christmas and gather everyone around the table to be happy and have a slice of logcake, not when everyone at home's barely on decent speaking terms. It'll be awfully awkward to even crack a smile in my mother's face. I wish i could, and i wish i had. But i didn't. I don't know how to, salvage this already sour relationship i share with my mother without sending her to death in shock. I felt so horrible inside, especially when i looked at my father's back view. He looks so, old. So unhappy, and so different than before. I want to tell them i'm sorry, for all the times i've made them furious and unhappy. I want to scream at them, to stop sulking and being suck a wet blanket everytime. I want us to be a family again, a happy one. I hope it's not too late, to celebrate next Christmas with them.

I love you, Mom and Dad.

MyPersonality.info Badge

2008-12-26T04:42:00.001-08:00

Harsh Reality.

2008-12-10T03:30:00.000-08:00

Netball training was PATHETIC.
4 people turned up for training, how desperately pathetic is that. Seriously, we shouldn't even take part in next year's A Division Netball Tournament because we don't even have a proper team. As quoted from someone "They wouldn't even last in a freaking C Division match, C DIV! Do they even know what a netball tournament is like?!" I really don't know. And yes, that is how bad we are. I'm not being mean, it's just the facts.
Honestly, why can't everyone just suck it up, be more disciplined and come for training. Even if there isn't a coach, we can still do so much more, as long as there're enough people. Or at least have the decency to reply text messages, online messages whatsoever and let the captain know if you'd be present for training. 'Cause you know what? There really isn't much we can do with 4 people, so thanks so much for wasting our time. Please, the team sucks. I suck too, so can we all come together and do something about it instead of running away from it.

Gloria, Claudia, Amanda = Big Bullys. :p I'll get back at you all, someday, hopefully, for running away when i was on the kiddy ride!

Rant 1 aside, is it just me or should China Chinese really stop reproducing like rats? Maybe they're not reproducing like rats, but there's enough of them to take over Singapore already at this point in time. I'm not being racist or whatever, but EVERYWHERE i go, i see'em. In hawker centres, in cinemas, in shopping malls, in supermarkets, on the bus, at high end restaurants. Seriously. I'm starting to wonder if i'm still in Singapore, or am i already in China. I won't complain if they can perform their tasks well, in fluent english and with good attitude, but no. (With a few exceptions). From observation, most of them do their jobs halfheartedly, do not pay attention to their customers, DAYDREAM (seriously, i almost had to shout to get that woman back down to earth), cannot converse with their customers and end up getting everyone frustrated. So how did they even land themselves the job?! What on earth are the employers out there thinking?! Is it because they have a lower wage pay? What happened to quality service? Seriously, they better start doing something or they're gonna witness a major fall in the number of customers they get.

PROM!

2008-12-05T06:13:00.000-08:00

Okay, I got pretty tired waiting for prom pictures to appear on facebook and stuff, so here're some that i've gotten my hands on so far. Unfortunately, i look weirdly, weird. In practically all of'em so just deal with it. Will upload the rest of the pictures, when i get'em. [:

Mark Chan

Ethel and Xiaotian!

The lovely council team!

Uh, Mr no smile good looking, (idk his name) & Zhang!

The nicest person in the world, Eunice!

Funky Sean Ho! ( I'm so sorry i missed your party! )

Xiaotian!

The very tired Prommys in our hotel room.

Love them!

Astrid!

Council team! (We have alot more photos aye, but where did they go? Guys?)

Abby! (I'll be this fair next year, after i step down from netball.)
A'lrt that's all i have for now. [:

The image of your face is stuck in my brain. It's haunting me.

2523346

2008-12-03T01:09:00.000-08:00

Prom was awesome, but i'm not gonna post until i get all the pictures.

I think i saw you today. Actually, i know i did. I just didn't want to look into your face and say hello because you won't even care. You're probably never gonna read this, or even if you do you won't even know i'm talking about you. Well, i'm still gonna say what i want to anyway.

I hate how we're strangers now, when we used to be so close. I miss having you as a friend and if i had known earlier that this was gonna happen, i'd rather we never met, or never became close again after we first drifted apart. I hate how i still can't get your face out of my head, and all those silly, retarded times we used to share. And if i made a mistake in choosing my friends, you'd be the biggest mistake i ever made. Because, you make me laugh then you make me upset and sometimes it's just so difficult to believe that we used to be so close. Where are you now? Who are you now? Yeah, you affect me this much and you don't even know. Or maybe, just maybe; you don't want to know.

E950!

2008-11-28T21:21:00.001-08:00

You are my Sunshine, My only Sunshine
You make make Happy, When skies are Gray
You never know Dear, How much I love You
So please don't take, my Sunshine away.

Thanks to Fe, i'm going for the J2's prom! I still haven't decided if i'm gonna go for post prom thou. Taralyn's in China now and i miss her quite abit. Luckily for me, Russell's still around. After 2 whole weeks of searching for my lovely Samsung E950, I finally found (or rather Javier finally found) s shop in Bedok that sells it! So that's gonna be my new phone. YAY! Now, for something i've been wanting to say since wednesday;

ihopeigetitihopeigetit
ihopeigetitihopeigetit
Ihopeigetitihopeigetit!

Dead-beat

2008-11-24T07:06:00.000-08:00

Uncle Chan's going to sleep now so he's gonna send me the photos only tomorrow, if i even see him online 'cause i have training from 15 30 till 19 30. Seriously, i'd be so glad that there's training if my feet aren't aching like crazy from walking through the town. Well, i did have fun though. [; Heh heh.

Went winter-stuff shopping with tara (that woman is so last minute i swear!) and thank goodness russell came as well. I love how russell's always the "okay lo" person when i ask him if he can get out, well maybe not always but he is most of the time whenever i need him to rescue me. HAHA. Anyway we walked from orchard MRT to Wisma ZARA to Centrepoint (where most of the shopping was done thank goodness) and from there to, i can't even remember where and then all the way back to Wisma ZARA. All i bought was 3 undergarments from Club Marc which was having the major sale i swear everything's so cheap now. And my legs were almost DEAD. Call me a lousy shopper whatsoever. I just don't think i was born for shopping okay, it's so NOT a GIRL'S thing. At least it's not MY thing. But i did see quite a few things that i want to get, so i'll probably go back again soon with all the sales going on. ;p

This post sounds terribly bimbotic but i so do not care now. MAJOR bad news of the day, the stupid phone i've been waiting for for almost a month now, Samsung E950, is no longer in production. Seriously. I just wanted to die. ( I told you this post is bimbotic). There're no other phones that i like and i refuse to change my phone when there's nothing i like. Why settle for anything less? It's so sickening. So, depressing. SO DEPRESSING! ):

Photos another day ):

Quizzzzzz time

2008-11-21T19:59:00.000-08:00

A
Available: Well, nope.
Age: 17
Annoyance: Having no vacation job.
Animal: Anything but a fish.
Always There For You No Matter What!: Bestfriends [:

B
Birthday/Birthplace: 26th Jan 1991/ S'pore.
Best Friend: Taralyn, Russell
Body Part on opposite sex: Um, idk.
Best feeling in the world: Joy.
Best weather: Not so sunny, bright, windy, Awesomeee.
Been in Love: Possibly, Probably.
Been bitched out?: Hahaha.
Believe in yourself?: Occasionally.
Believe in God: What's less than occasionally but not nothing at all?
Believe in Ghosts/spirits: Spirits yes.

C
Car: Can afford to buy toy cars.
Candy: Chocolate.
Colour: I'm not morbid like Russell. So i like Red and Turqioise ;p
Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate anytime.
Chinese/Mexican: Food AND Girls. HAHA. Yes, GIRLS.
Cake or pie: Uh, whichever i feel like whenever.
Country to visit: Paris, London.

D
Day or Night: NightandDay.
Dream vehicle: A comfortable car.
Dance?: Not in a veryvery long time. ):
Dance in the rain?: :]
Do the splits?: Yup!

E
Eggs: Quail. HAHA. Blame Russell.
Eyes: blue green gray!
Everyone has: Nose hair.
Ever failed a class?: YUP. MATH. since sec 3.

F
First crush: HAHA sec 1.
First kiss: mmmphhmm...
First thoughts waking up: What shall i eat today. HEEE.
Food: is my bestfriend.

G
Greatest Fear: People.
Giver or taker: Both.
Goals: Get a high-paying job.
Get along with your parents?: Nil.

H
Hair Colour: Black/Brown. Russell your hair is NOT black.
Height: 164cm #&$@!)$&.
Happy: Tuesday.
Holiday: Now? zzzz.
How do you want to die: Not alone.
Health freak?: NOPE. 10 gillion light years away form that.
Hate: (s)no one.

I
Ice Cream: BEN AND JERRY'S. AHHHH.
Instrument: I'm a musical idiot, OKAY.

J
Jewelry: Studs.
Job: Originally i wanted to fly (pilot) but i can't cause the plane will crash. So i just want sth that's got good pay. Idk, or Public relations or sth. Psychiatrist? Hahaha.

K
Kids: Little Maddys. k sorry they just popped up in my head.
Kickboxing or karate: Muay thai. HAHA i think it's cool!
Keep a journal?: Okay i'm switching to Lj. HAHA.

L
Longest Car Ride: To malaysia.

Love: "is like the wind. I can't see it, but i can feel it." - A Walk to Remember.

Letter: J
Laughed so hard you cried: Lol recently but i can't remember when.
Love at first sight: Is a lie.

M
Milk flavor: Chocolate strawberry banana yum....
Movie: August Rush.
Mooned anyone?: Ah?
Marriage?: Not on my mind.
Motion sickness?: Occasionally.
Miss: Quite a few people.
McD's or BK: BKBKBK.

N
Number of Siblings: 1
Number of Piercings: 4
Number: 9, 26, 11:11 (no i didn't copy you russell), 3324, [:

O
Overused Phrases: Chicken nuggets./ Chicken nut bread.
One wish: Freedom.
One phobia: People.

P
Place you'd like to live: London, NY, And i really don't mind Singapore.
Perfect Pizza: CHEEESSEEE and MUSHROOMSSSS.
Pepsi/Coke: too much gas.

Q
Quail: EGGS. HAHAHA. Quail eggs eggs quail quail eggs.. =X

R
Reason to cry: Pain.
Radio Station: 98.7 fm.
Roll your tongue in a circle?: YUP.

S
Song: The man who can't be moved.
Shoe size: 6.5/7.
Salad Dressing: None.
Sushi: LOVE.
Scent: Kimmy scent.
Skipped school: ONCE in my WHOLE LIFE.
Slept outside: In school?
Seen a dead body?: My Uncle's.
Skinny dipped?: Nope.
In the shower?: I like.
Swear?: that i want to eat chicken wings and xiao long baos now.
Stuffed Animals?: allergic.
Single/Group dates: Group. HAHA.
Strawberries/Blueberries: Raspberries.
Scientists need to invent: Common sense.

T
Time for bed: In the middle of the night.
Thunderstorms: Are beautiful.
TV: CABLE tv.
Touch your tounge to your nose?: Nah.
Tattoo?: Butterfly, there.

U
Unpredictable: Is it the same as being too random?

V
Vegetable you hate: ONION.
Vegetable you love: Potato leaves, Kang Kong,
Vacation spot: BALI.

W
Weakness: Overly gullible.
When you grow up: I wanna be happy.
Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Hmm, Idk.
Who makes you laugh the most: Idk either! maybe daniel wee, but ALOT of people make me laugh!
Worst feeling: Denial.

X
XRays: Ooooh i can see what's underneath!

Y
Year it is now: 2050. And the world is Gray from pollution.
Yellow: Dirty Fellow.

Z
Zoo animal: CLOUDED LEOPARD, TIGER, ELEPHANT.
Zodiac sign: Aquarius.

Oh?

2008-11-20T04:36:00.000-08:00

Back In Action!

Finally got our A level groupings for TSD today! (After 2 very long, very very very long, animated and tiring sessions of democratic discussion) I'm definitely more relieved than anything else, and also relatively glad that i got my preferred choice. So it's Donna, Wai Yew and Aisha for group piece, and Wai Yew for Duologue. Okay, let's kick some TSD (practical) ass!

Coach showed us the 2006 NZ Vs SA commonwealth games, netball, video yesterday during training. Watching those giants play, i felt so tiny. They're giants, literally, in terms of height (they're like 1.8m, 1.9m, ALL of'em) and skill. What really amazed me was the fact that human bodies can be manupulated, configured?, to the extent that it can perfom seemingly impossible motion with great speed. Damn they're fantastic and Damn i wish i were taller. I don't think i can ever be as good as them (hey hey c'mon, AUS thrashed SG 100+ to 15 goals in the commonwealth games okay). NZ & AUS netballers aren't the only ones who've whoa-ed me so much this year. Beijing Olympics, 208, 2004, 2000, dude every olympics that i've ever watched in my life is like watching tiny people on the tv screen, performing the impossible. I secretly wonder how gymnasts train their bodies to become so accustomed (did i spell this correctly?) to getting bent like plasticine. How their every move is SO precised to the extent that they make almost 0.000000% error. It's crazy, fascinating crazy. And how Usain Bolt runs faster than a, normal homo sapien. (No, i'm not syaing that he's not human, maybe he's just slightly abnormal) Whatever it is, I respect those atheletes. WHOA YOU GUYS! (you're all so freaky!) =S

One more thing, I think the 3 white tigers that were living in the Singapore Zoological Gardens, the three of'em that attacked the i-forgot-what-race-is-he-guy? They didn't do anything wrong at all c'mon that retard was totally asking for it. And i have a personal message for that ridiculous man " If you want to die, go ahead, just don't implicate others, inconsideratepainintheass."

NETBALL!

2008-11-14T05:08:00.001-08:00

It felt so awesome to get back on track, and play the game i love best. (: Training felt so fantastic!

Subject-less.

2008-11-09T21:19:00.000-08:00

I've long forgotten the feeling of freedom; Have you?

Looking back at the meny things that've happened during the past few weeks, months, I suddenly got kinda, scared. Is that how the rest of my life is gonna be like as well? We're all, tied. To something. And everything we do, there'll always be a consequence. When then can we ever be free and just do what we want to, and live life how we'd love to? It's like the government telling us we have the freedom of speech and you see'em sending people to jail for criticizing them. Why are there so many hidden boundaries to freedom and if there are so many boundaries, what is freedom, really?

RUSSELL, WE NEED TO TAKE A WALK.

Awesome Foursome!

2008-11-08T06:28:00.000-08:00

Russell, looking..Unusual. HAHA.

Chris Toh! (He actually looks way better than he does here!)

Bestfriends.

Tara and her Shampoo Advertisment attempts.

Too lazy to type.
Pictures from our Awesome Foursome outing. The very happening people who went all the way to city hall to take a quick look at taralyn's wallet-to-be, then bought Chippy and sat down at starbucks to play pictionary. Junior pictionary at that. Hahaha! But i had a great time, too bad Chris Toh had to leave earlier or we'd all have more fun! (:

Met all the TSD peeps for FLARE! after that, More pictures to come soon!

With all my Heart

2008-11-07T05:05:00.001-08:00

Our Council, is Your Council; Always.

Yesterday, I realized that there're so many things i'm incapable of describing in words. Maybe it's just 'cause my vocabulary range is terribly limited. Or maybe because sometimes, Saying nothing at all, is saying so much more.
I love the 23rd council. Every single councillor. No lie. Every single one. Including a few that i've had some problems with in the past. I don't care. I love EVERY, SINGLE, 23rd COUNCILLOR.

TSD groupings to be out soon, the anxiety is already wearing off. But there's one thing i'm sure of, i don't want our class to be any smaller than it already is. After FLARE yesterday at the National Arts Museum, all 14 of us went to starbucks together just to drink coffee, chill and take some random pictures. It felt, so awesome.

BYE BYE PW!

2008-11-05T05:58:00.001-08:00

PICTURES FROM HALLOWEEN!

Yep! Just us ladies, and some boys. Hahaha! Halloween Masquerade night was awesome. We had a hard time finding the cafe 'cause we got the wrong street at first. It's Bali lane! not Haji lane! But the food at Blue Jazz cafe was pretty good, ( though it's kinda pricy) Angeline got like 2 tablespoons of rice and a sparse amount of seafood for about $15.00! I think she's just doomed whenever it comes to food, it's like they've got something against her. HAHA! Other than that, the atmosphere was pretty cool and like Tara said, it's a go-backable place. So i guess we'll be hitting Blue Jazz cafe sometime again!

Anyway, we were making hell alot of noise during dinner 'cause everyone was taking turns to tell their stories (like how theresa broke her leg walking down the stairs at HOME, how angeline had no bread for her burger, and taralyn's retarded-funny NACHO cheese joke.) But none of us really bothered 'cause we were having so much fun just chatting the night away. Then taralyn decided that it was time to wear our masks and take pictures with her..gate. HAHAHA! We spent so long just trying to get some nice pictures, which we did get in the end, thankfully! Oh, before we met the rest, I left the other masquerade masks at tara's place and her mom called to ask if they were for her. HAHAHA oh my goodness i can't believe we actually forgot about the prettier masks, but they didn't go to waste 'cause they went with tara's mom to another party instead...!

Haven't been bloggin' for darn freakin' long 'cause of annoying PW. But now, it's all finally over! OP today wasn't fantastically awesome, but it was commendable and i guess we all did our best so what's done's done! I'm just so glad it's all OVER OVER OVER! I was rejoicing until Maddy reminded me how a nerve wrecking day tomorrow's gonna be as well, with the groupings for our TSD Aleves to be out, OH MY GOODNESS. (I feel like my stomach's in my heart!) Hopefully everyone stays! ): General meeting for council tomorrow as well, i'm gonna be so upset when we have to say goodbye to some of the councillors that's been with us all through the whole year! This just stinks. ):

Changi Village, City Hall & Pictionary with Tara, Russ & Chris Toh tmr! I'm so excited already! (:

2008-10-31T21:36:00.000-07:00

Halloween dinner was Awesome!

Fighting Nothing/Everything

2008-10-30T05:59:00.000-07:00

Let it Burn.

Russell makes everything feel a'lrt. Or, most things at least. Minus the fact that he enjoys every moment of bullying me. Finally met up with my champion after forever! I want the green hoodie from FOX so badly! Loved today (: Even though Javier and Russell were being totally lame, all the way. Masquerade was a scam luh! 70% discount wasn't enough at all when the bill was gonna come to about 120bucks at the end of the day! Damn. Can't wait for our little halloween night party tomorrow with the eight & boys!

"Which side would you like your parrot on?"
Where you'd like it to be. (:

Art And Autism: An Awareness Affair!

2008-10-26T23:47:00.000-07:00

Yup, that's what my group's been working our asses off on for project work! I'm so sorry if i'm infringing any copyrights posting these lovely pictures on my blog but they're really beautiful! Sigh, I really really hope our group'd do well enough to get an A, or at least a B. If not, we'd have worked our asses off for nothing at all ]:

Last night, i questioned the existence of God once again. Does he exist because he's a father figure people created, to look to for strength and comfort, guidence and solace, or did He really, REALLY, come to earth, went through all those things and became God as the bible says. I do respect every religion, so i hope this doesn't offend anyone. It's just, i haven't found anything that can convince me to believe in the power, or even the existence of this higher power, yet. Afterall, the bible was written by humans, and not God himself, or his diciples. Hmmm. But i did agree to go to mass with MC in 3-4 weeks time, after annoying A levels. Am also supposed to have a binge-and-drink-all-day day with D. HAHAHA. I can imagine us both looking like bloated humpty dumpties when we're done. Oh dear. What a disaster we'll be looking like.

*In a slightly seductive tone* " Hello hello, so are you free on friday night?"
That's from taralyn, and YES i'm free for the halloween night we're gonna have! :] We'll be looking awesome on friday, our Masquerade night!

" 'Cause they saw more love in that 15 seconds,
than anything else."

Food hunt.

2008-10-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

It was so nice talking to Gloria, Donna & Darren yesterday and today. OP presentation was, far from good, and everything was so unprofessionally carried out. I'm so disappointed ):

Today i saw a hundred million things i want, but what i wanted most, was right there with me.

4-lines.

2008-10-22T09:15:00.000-07:00

If you love me long enough,
If you believe in forever enough,
If you hold on long enough,
Know that i'll be yours, Always.

you voice was the soundtrack of my summer

2008-10-18T01:11:00.000-07:00

Been too lazy to blog 'cause i'm too lazy to upload pictures.

Anyway, here're some pictures from The Eight's lantern outting this monday! Hahaha it was so nice to meet up again even though there were only 4 of us left ): See the gigantic pink lantern? I MADE IT! Nah, i'm not that good at art and craft HAHA, Yeechien helped me to make the final product 'cause it was flopping all over in my hands. Thank you so much yeechien! (: So taralyn was late, by about 1.5 hours, as usual lol. When we finally met up in the missdle of MOS burger, she went screaming like crazy 'cause she was so happy with the lantern! Then she gave us all really cute and colourful chunky bracelets so we were all screaming excitedly choosing bracelets, in the middle of MOS burger. It's was quite embarrassing considering the fact that we're no kids but who cares we were freaking happy. ;p

Oh, we all ta-paued dinner to sunplaza park to eat and the most hilarious thing happened there! Andeline's terriyaki chicken burger was leaking like crazy and we were all wondering why. When she opened the package HER BURGER HAD NO BREAD! There was only the CHICKEN! We all laughed like crazy, i mean, how is a burger a burger when there's no bread?! And what was more fascinating was, what on earth was going through the person's head when he/she was packing the burger?! It's so ridiculous, they should fire that person! Hahahaha but taralyn decided to "donate" one side of her bread to angeline, who ended up eating her chicken with my chopsticks. My goodness!

Ah i haven't been blogging for so long that i can't even remember what i wanted to blog about. Well well, netball training's been fun! We don't have much people coming down so we sometimes end up playing whith this bunch of guys who are good competition! And there's this guy, i can't remember his name i think it's keith, his shots are super accurate. I wonder if he secretly trains everyday. Hahaha I better start training for my standard charter marathon before i die halfway on the day of the race!

Things will find a way in due time.

You're ridiculous

2008-10-12T01:03:00.000-07:00

Farewell assembly went well, and there was definitely more laughter than tears for the seniors. Maybe it's because there's nothing really worth their reluctance to leave this place, or maybe, i don't know. Took some pictures with Clara, Daniel, Demon, MC, Zen, Xiaotian and i can't remember who else. Will post'em up soon, i think. Hahaha. Well, guess i won't be seeing them often anymore, maybe the next time'd be Prom. I know who i'll be missing the most, Sunshine.

FINALLY got to play netball with the babes after 98263 years (even though i had to go for chinese in between which really got me annoyed 'cause i wanted to play netball so much =/ ). Was real fun, some guys from, i'm not sure where joined us and hell they were good. Their elevation, reflexes, alamak! We got thrashed! (I think?) Tsk, but it's okay. Went to eat dinner with claudy-ah and it was so good! We had good old teppanyaki for dinner and talked about 101 things. Bumped into pretty nicole after that while walking around and had another long chat. (: Sad day, Good day.

To a particular someone, I think you're being extremely ridiculous.
Your friend, is so patient and kind, so understanding and tolerant, so hard to find. Do you even know what you're talking about or what you're doing to her? You make absolutely ZERO sense. When you have someone who is actually willing to hold on to a friendship so firmly, someone who doesn't even think about giving up on you, you just let go and you think you're doing her a favour? Please grow up. You have your life you have your friends, but don't make it seem like you're being gallant by "letting her go" because you're not. You're just being amazingly self-absorbed. So if you're wondering why your friends ar always leaving you, it's simply because, YOU LEFT THEM FIRST. Nobody ever gave up on you, you gave up on yourself.

I was so angry after i heard what claud told me, so this is what i have to say to you.

I don't wanna say goodbye

2008-10-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

I don't wanna say goodbye to the wonderful seniors i've had for the past year or so. JC2 farewell assembly's tomorrow. I so CAN wait.

Things people say

2008-10-06T04:55:00.000-07:00

Some person inspired me to do this.
You see, if you're a good speaker, people wil listen to you, and be very much engaged in the things you're talking about even if you go on for half an hour. Unfortunately, this particular person never seems to realize how ridiculously boring she is and drones on and on and on. Of course, no one really listens to her and sometimes, she laughs at her own jokes. I know she's trying, but maybe by saying less, she can get much more across. [: No names mentioned. Hahaha.

TPJC-ians are allowed to sleep during lectures.

One Two Three

2008-10-05T06:45:00.000-07:00

My..internet......is...laggginnnggg...like...crraazzzyy.
And it is so frustrating 'cause i can't open the files on TPJC.net ARGH!! Sorry Lynn! ):

So while the darn file is taking 8729846years to open, i shall blog. Read today's Sunday times about inflation and all 'cause of the US recession and DARN. Everyone seems to be making a conscious effort to save save save. On Electricity usage, water usage, transport fees, cab fares and even expenditure on food. I felt so terribly wasteful after reading the related articles so i've decided to come up with a savings scheme, of some sort.

I shall:
1. Use the computer for mostly necessary tasks such as reading my online messages on TPJC.net, using microsoft word to type my WR and such. Well of course i can't be ridiculously strict about this 'cause i also need to blog and go on msn, social networks, check my random mail once in a very long while so i'll spare myself 1 hour for that. HAHA, this doesn't sound very efficient at all, maybe i'll think of something else.
2. Send less text messages and cut down on talk time usage 'cause my phonebill usually costs a BOMB. So my target for next month, is for my phonebill to cost less than 50bucks. Now, THIS, is a CHALLENGE.
3. Eat out less. This way, i can save my random allowance and diet at the same time. ;p
4. Drink plain water from my water bottle when i'm in school instead of buying drinks from the canteen/cafe. An occasional milo drink is permitted because i cannot live without milo.
5. Save up for things i want to buy, not draw back on savings!
6. Buy only necessary items. Occasional indulgence in WANT-items are permitted. Like the darn-frickin'-hot running shorts claudia and a I have our eyes on!
7. Wake up earlier and take the bus to school instead of hailing a cab everytime i'm so close to being late. Cab fares are extremely hefty now, It's a lifestyle i CANNOT afford!
8. Ensure i carry out all of the above.

I know, it's slightly ambitious but i'm determined to start saving! I've already started switching off all the powerpoints whenever i'm not using them and setting my air-conditioning on timer! Hohoho! [: But there's one thing i must have, a new phone! My lovely E900's on it's way into it's grave and i need to get a new phone before this one dies out 'cause i'm heavily dependent on my phone. Tsk tsk, the problem is. I can't seem to find anything i fancy so far. I was phone-scouting online this afternoon and everything's either too complicated (meaning to say that there're tons of functions, which is good except i'd rarely use them so it's not value for my money) or the design of the phone just, isn't very appealing. I can't wait for more phone models to appear in the market. ARGH.

I have more issues to spill but it's gonna make this post a really long one so i guess i'll just blog about that some other time. It's also from today's Sunday times paper. See, i've been reading my newspapers often okay.

Scene Two

2008-10-03T05:49:00.000-07:00

Took this picture some time ago when i still had the time to watch sunsets.

Today was a good day [:
Went for MJC's open house with Claudia (I'm so upset that we didn't get to play netball before that but oh well, next wednesday!) and saw so many people there! There was Mayves, Jolyn, Gary, peoplepeoplepeople, Bryan. Hahaha saw Mx and Jonathan as well and we just hung around the school watching highly enthusiastic people go about doing their mass dances and cheering their guts out. What really struck me was the MJ people singing their school song. It didn't seem like a joke to them as it probably would have to the people in my college. Maybe it was because their college anthem is really nice and the words mean so much. Maybe it's because they were all just high from their previous activity. Whatever the case is, i saw even their seniors who came back to the college to watch the performance stand up and sing with pride. You could see it, in their faces, their posture. And all of a sudden, i felt so ridiculous. Why can't our college do the same? What is it that is lacking in us?

That aside, I was really glad to see so many people after so long! I miss and love you all so much! Mayves, lorry, tara! Went for 70cents Mcdonald's ice-cream and fries after the open house with tara and bryan. Taralyn is such a bum i swear. Because she wanted to take the next 358(bus), we ended up sitting at the bus stop for almost half an hour waiting for the next bus to arrive. But the ice-cream an all was worth it after such a long, hot and sticky day! Hahaha had a nice long chat after such a long time and it felt really good. But we were forced to leave after about 40mins 'cause the air-conditioning was like on full blast and we were all freezing to death. I don't know about bryan, but Tara and I were freezing to death. Whoohoo we're gonna watch house bunny together and have our beach stroll soon! 13th october! [:

We had a talk during TSD class today, but because i had to leav early i don't kno whow things ended. Hopefully everything has been sorted out and maybe we can start anew as a class again or something. Unfortunately, I somehow feel that the situation isn't as ideal as i'm imagining it to be. Whatever the case is i guess i've said my piece and that's that. I'm just not gonna think about it again and hopefully things will be better.

That aside, my chinese teacher wants me and 3 other girls in my chinese class to do a chinese composition for him every 3 days. I think i'm gonna die of a chinese overload, how the hell do people cook up stories and weave them into something so extensive and meaninglful without even the aid of anything? It's amazing! Plus, i can't even read the title because i don't even know what words they are! This is terrible. At this rate i'm never gonna attain an A for Chinese, which i should because i think i'm capable of it. Hahahaha. Oh well. Suck it up Kim, and get down to work!

one day i woke up

2008-10-01T08:27:00.000-07:00

This is KIMI RAIKKONEN!
Photo, courtesy of Javier.

TRAINING ON FRIDAY YAY!

Okay, it's not even official training because our interesting teacher in charge for reasons unknown refuses to allow us to start training up for next year's A division tournament. I'm sorry to say, but that is utterly ridiculous because at this rate, we're gonna end up no where in next year's A division tournament. So, we're just gonna go ahead and go back to playing netball again anyway. Besides, it's not even official training so she can't complain. heehee!

Watched the F1 race on TV last sunday, and i must say it was quite a depressing race to watch for me. With the two lovely ferraris crashing and screwing up so badly one after another, there wasn't much left to anticipate. But i must applaud Fernando Alonso for moving up 14 places to win the race that night, commendable performance, with alot of luck as well. Hahaha! Lucky people went to watch the race LIVE LIVE LIVE! But i guess it was just as good on TV, clearer. Well, they'll probably be coming back to Singapore again the next season, hopefully i'd get to watch it LIVE then! :]

Been prepping for JC2 farewell assembly, and it's made me think alot. I'm pretty sure that i'm gonna be really upset when the seniors leave, especially all the very very nice people like demon, MC, gourie, Xiaotian, zizie, Naz and so many many more. ]: Can't believe i've gotta survive next year without them, I'll miss you all! But i do hope they get their asses out of TPJC for good as well, 'cause that'd mean that they did well enough to go on and not come back to TPJC again! Sigh, All the best to all JC2 people out there for your A levels! It's such a pain in the ass i know. ;p

I thought that I would be okay
If we could simply stay this way
But now i see that it's not to be
'Cause i need you more than i could say.

That aside, Happy children's day and Selamat hari raya to all! (:

NO MORE PROMOS FOR REAL!

2008-09-27T09:25:00.000-07:00

A day of photobooth fun with Claudia and Pamela! (:

We went nuts, and we had so much fun playing with Claudy-ah's photobooth functions! Hahaha it was a real method to destress and have fun after a whole week of anxiety from recieving shitty promo results. *sigh. I don't like it one bit. Fortunately i did just well enough to get my lazy ass promoted and i feel so grateful that i'm gonna start studying to catch up on everything i've missed out this year so that i won't end up struggling to stay afloat like a total idiot next year. I don't wanna be labelled dumb! BOO! I really hope the whole of A04 gets promoted at ONE CLASS, and the whole of TSD class as well ): We're already such a small group! please don't make our TSD class even tinier than it already is! ):

Well, with all the horror of the results finally all out and done with, I can say for sure that promos are finally OVER. ALL of it. FINALLY! I feel so relieved. Except that chinese A's are coming and we're still resuming normal lessons for the next 5 weeks or so before we can finally enjoy our long-deserved holiday. I need a vacation job! ):

F1, alone.

Uh-O

2008-09-23T08:02:00.000-07:00

Please let me be promoted
Please let me be promoted
Please let me be promoted
AHHHHHH!

Finished all my homework so far whoohoo! Feels kinda silly and ridiculous that i'm only beginning to take this whole education system seriously after my promotional exams, and hopefully it's not too late. ( Oh my chicken nuggets please let me promote! ) Can't wait to get back my results for chinese, econs and TSD! My fate lies, literally, in the fate of those remaning papers.
So many people in school look so stressed ever since monday, sigh. I hope everyone in council will go to J2 as a whole! Everyone in 08A04 and everyone in chinese class too! All the best to all those taking their promo exams now, esp tara, russ, bry, lorrie and everyone I know luh. WE MUST ALL GET PROMOTED OKAY! ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

So can't wait to start playing netball again. Sigh, playing netball is practically the only time when I have nothing on my mind. Just play, and have fun! Can't wait for long walks with russ, THE EIGHT'S traditional lantern walk along the beach, can't wait for EVERYTHING.

xy, belle and I made a pact today to study rogether during the holidays and catch up on all the work we're lousy at, at Expo's Coffee Bean! (: mug mug mug, no more procrastination!

learning all my ABC's

2008-09-22T05:29:00.000-07:00

I must do all my homework
I must do all my homework
I must do all my homework

I can't wait for school to be over.
I can't wait for all your promos to end!
I can't wait for christmas to arrive.

I must save money
I must save money
I must save money

Times like this, I wish I could fly.
To a place so faraway.

WHERE'S MY CHILDREN'S DAY!

2008-09-18T09:13:00.000-07:00

WHERE'S MY CHILDREN'S DAY HOLIDAY!?
I MIGHT NOT BE A CHILD ANYMORE BUT I STILL WANT TO PLAY!!

8 days after children's day in the year 08, we are throwing THE
"I'm going to party cus' I didn't get to celebrate children's day" PARTHHEYYY~!~*~!~*~!

WARNING: People un-awesome at playing should stay away.

Come bask yourself in our redecorated HOMECLUB to PARTHEY for our ever-lost holiday!

Come dance to the PSYCHEDELICness of the dance floor booping along to funky
R&B all night and shout to the insan e dance battles that erupt from the unwillingness
to supress our expression of THE music.

Free flow of chips & 2 free drinks will be served =)

PREPARE for the OBSCURITY of our theme as we doll up our crew and club to indulge you
in a NEW & UNIQUE experience at our refurbished HOMECLUB!

TAKE MY WORDS! IT WILL BE DIFFERENT! DIFFERENT I SAY!

9th of October! Don't miss it! Keep that date circled up in your planner! 2200-0300hours,
Make up for the loss fun of celebrating children's day!
WE'RE GOING TO A PARTYYYY BABYYYYYYYY! CUS WE'RE AWESOMEEE!

Tickets are at $18 each and comes with 2 free drinks!
Drink Promo - $8 Beer glasses, $30 Beer Jugs,
$10 Housepour glasses, $35 H/P Jugs, $138 H/P Bottles,
$158 Premium Bottles, $110 Housepour Bottles, $15 soft drink jugs.

HOMECLUB: 20 Upper Circular Rd #B1-01/06 The Riverwalk S(058416)
For general and ticketing enquires call: 97707818

Supported sponser: Freemansland.

ALL interested buyers, please contact me!
Email/MSN: kimberlywang@hotmail.com

EOP. END OF PROMOS.

2008-09-17T05:50:00.000-07:00

Okay, not yet but ALMOST.
I haven't been blogging for quite some time now, whoo so much to do, so little time! So here's some quick updates! Was so happy today 'cause i received a Love Letter from my bestfriend Taralyn, and she decorated it so nicely with colourful stars all around my name ( but her handwriting needs work, like since primary school hahaha! ) Wrote a reply. I'm really fascinated by the mash potato machine at 7-eleven but it'll be to time consuming to type out why and the process of it all so i'll skip that. I'm left with only my duologue and monologue for my TSD exam then promos will be officially over over over! I'm not thinking about the results. Please let me be promoted PLEASE.
Okay, the last and most impt thing in this update, my post-promos-to-do-list!

Meet up with the 4N family!
(Renz, MX, XY, Belle, Dezhan, Jason, Mayves& QC!)
Meet up with Jacq, Liye and Claud!
(My daughter-in-law, son and grandchild)
Netball game with seniors/juniors!
Besties date with Russ and Tara!
Shopping with xy!
Skatin with Jun & Co !
B&J with mhuahaha J & S!
Outing with alano! (Like finally, after 3 yrs! )
Meet up with BY before he leaves for Aussie!
Star-gazing with DW!
Lantern-carrying beach stroll with THE EIGHT and boys.
Party with tara like mad!
Long walk date with Russ
Standard Chartered race 2008!

As far as the eye can see;

2008-09-09T07:32:00.000-07:00

Credits to Jude for the gorgeous photo.

Which reminds me of this beautiful picture of the sunset in Japan he gave me that time. Heh, we were just saying how it's always nice to have a small chat with friends once in a while; it's nice staying in touch. I just realised today that the cafe sells ice-cream as well now. Gee, i think all my lunch-money's gonna go there. Physical geography paper didn't go too well for me but i've got no one to blame except myself for not studying beforehand. Oh well, it's over now. I just hope i did well enough to pass again like how i did previously, miraculously. Just when i thought promos are taking the toll on me, i suddenly came to realise how fast time is passing as well. Just 2 days ago i was worried sick over how the econs paper would be like and within 1hour 50 mins it was over, all over (at least for now). It's amazing how things go by so quickly, just like how the little things in life disappear into nothingness sometimes. As much as i cannot wait for promotional exams to be over, some part of me doesn't want it to past so quickly. I think it's because i don't really wanna grow up so quickly as i used to before anymore. Everything's moving so quickly in one direction: Forward. It's like, we're all just tiny dust particles floating in the wind, unable to go back against it.

Sometimes, you look up and see a sky of a thousand colours. You stare in awe at the beauty of it and you refuse to tear your eyes away. Why? Maybe it's because somewhere inside us, we all know that we might just never see such a beautiful sight again.

Hmm.

2008-09-05T23:25:00.000-07:00

Promos for TSD group piece is finally over! I'm definitely relieved but I'm gonna miss working with Sabrina, Aisha, Wendy and Felina(: They were awesome. Now for the rest of the subjects.... pffft. I have some random issues to deal with, like stocking up my snack pantry (which'd simply be anywhere in my room haha), Kissing my Faber Castle colourpencils which i FINALLY found after 8729386923874 months and um, studying (which is not exactly random?). I felt so motivated to start doing my costume and set design sketches for my IS (mono&duologue) after i found my colourpencils and so i did! Except that i didn't use my colour pencils in the end cause i still haven't decided on what colour my top's gonna be, hmm how disappointing. Was reading up on Monetary policy in preperation for my Economics examination on monday and i felt like an idiot. Not 'cause i didn't understand the contents but 'cause i have yet to start revising for Geography, which is on tuesday, and i think i'm gonna die of an information overload. ): This is terrible. I just want to get promoted! AHH!! Oh yes, Sony's recalling all it's lappie's back 'cause they're apparently in danger of overheating. *Stares hard at my Vaio* It'd be quite fascinating to see my laptop burn up right in front of my face while i'm using it don't you think? Weird thought aside, CHICKENNUGGETS! Hopefully my laptop ain't one of those that needa be recalled back if not i'd just die 'cause i can't live without it. Tried to go to the sony website to check if my lappie's one of those faulty ones but guess what, the website just won't load, and it's SO frustrating! Grrrrr. Okay i really shoud be more productive than this so i'm off to study for econs, (if i don't pass i'm really dumb ): ) and hopefully i'll have time for geography as well! Good luck to all J1's esp A04!, for promos a'lrt, kill all those poly people who are enjoying their holidays now! ( this is directed at Theresa Teo! ;p )

Don't say things you don't really mean. Hmm.

So this is how it goes.

2008-08-30T23:09:00.000-07:00

// Deleted.

I'm sorry, and thank you. Thank you all.

Just a thought.

2008-08-29T02:04:00.000-07:00

This is how the world is connected.
People to people to people to people to people to people to people.
And this is why the "Broken Telephone" game, is not a stupid game at all. One wrong word, the wrong tone, or saying nothing at all, there goes. It's over.

Happy Teacher's Day.

Hang in there!

2008-08-27T06:23:00.000-07:00

These cards i drew.

I miss playing NETBALL so much ): I feel so deprived and lethargic ever since training stopped about a month or more ago. I miss debating with the Seriousplay debators. It used to be so much fun ( and pressure ) debating against them with Loke. I miss hangin' out with Jun, Suren, Demon, Tara, Lorrie, and tons and tons and tons of people but all that, will have to wait.

Promos are freaking 9 days away. Heh, my lucky number 9 indeed. Things are becoming increasingly frustrating lately especially with everyone's patience running low and emotional stability fluctuating like Zimbabwe's currency does. Everything's just rush rush rush rush rush ain't got no time to stop pause rest breath or think. Teacher's day is coming and i desperately want to go back to my secondary school ( Temasek Secondary ) to visit my teachers who have been so tolerant ( mostly ) for the past 4 years. I miss them, and i can't wait to tell them JC IS NUTS. Ain't even got time to go shisha with nice people who invited me to go along. Times like this; exasperating. Thankfully, and finally for that matter, i ain't gotta go to school tomorow 'cause it's E-learning day.
Not that i like to complain but frankly speaking i think 1 day of e-learning isn't enough. Not because i'm an IT geek or mug-like-crazy-nerd, but simply because going to school all the time not doing much at all is such a waste of time and staying at home to study is ironically more productive and constructive. My brain's not working. The whole TSD concept for Scene 4 is still stuck in my head trying to develop itself into something spectacular which might just be able to bring our group's performance up to a higher level. I'm also praying that Javier won't crash tomorrow during his driving test. Actually i'm not so worried about that, i'm praying that he passes. Too many snippets of random thoughts and ideas hatching in my brain. The result of multi-tasking. I need to sleep. It seems to me that even my sentences and in fact my entire blog post at this point in time is extremely incoherent and nonsensical.

I can't wait for Sunday. Even though i don't exactly dig local music, Baybeats and Ben & Jerry's with the boys will definitely do some good to my mental health. Well, What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger so i'll just suck it all up like a good lil' kid and force my ass to sit through promos. After all, it'll be over soon enough. ( ah yes i'm sure. )

Complete.

2008-08-23T10:41:00.000-07:00

And it was all i ever needed to know.
And it is all i ever need to know.
Thank you.

Empty?

2008-08-21T08:16:00.001-07:00

That's how i draw my tree.
And according to Ethel, i'm psychotic.

2008-08-20T06:25:00.000-07:00

I played tennis today.
But all i could think of,
was you.

Just maybe

2008-08-16T08:25:00.000-07:00

Temasekians at TPJC!

I miss so many things.
Temasek Secondary.
Mayves
MingXun
Terence
Jonathan
HengXinyi
IsabellKoh
Jason
ZuCheng
Yuanhong
Jacqueline
Actually everyone in 4Nurture.

I miss playing netball, alot.
Paetoque ( idk how to spell it. )
Wakeboarding
Ice-skating
Running free in the rain
Eating ice-cream on cold cold days.
Watching the stars at night
Watching the sunrise
and the sunset.
Counting the number of green/blue cars that go by.
Watching movies with A.M.
Playing netball
Playing netball
Playing netball
DEBATING WITH LOKE IN TMS.
SERIOUSPLAY DEBATE.

and,
I miss you.

Stop and Stare

2008-08-11T08:17:00.000-07:00

This is why studying out's always fun (:

I'll close my eyes,
I'd shut my ears
Forget those fears
And dry these tears.

I must learn, to listen to my heart sometimes.

To run away;
Or stop and stay?
Tomorrow i may
But not today.

And choose what i want, over what's right.

May all that noise
Drown out my voice.
The voice inside,
That i'm trying to hide.

tirmek

2008-08-08T04:12:00.000-07:00

I saw you face,
In a crowded place.
And i don't know what to do.
But all i know is that,
I've missed you.

Opressing Silence.

2008-08-05T05:16:00.000-07:00

Leave a comment/tag here and I'll..

1. Tell you why I befriended you.
2. Associate you with a song / movie.
3. Tell a random fact about you.
4. Tell a first memory about you.
5. Associate you with an animal / fruit.
6. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
7. In return, you must post this in your own LJ/Blog.

26 Random Facts about Me.

1. I like Red/ Turquoise, and weirdly matched colours.
2. I'm almost always hungry.
3. I'm only truely myself in front of about, 9-13 poeple in the world.
4. Most people don't know me.
5. I do not dread/fear death, in fact i wouldn't mind it occurring.
6. I love walking/running in the rain.
7. I think GP is a ridiculous subject that underestimates most people's intelligence.
8. Yes, i do like receiving flowers.
9. 9 is my favourite number, so is 26.
10. I prefer odd numbers to even numbers because even numbers just seem too, perfect.
11. I like playing with rice and green/red beans.
12. I have 2 bestfriends, Russell Chan and Taralyn Teo.
13. I actually prefer being silent than talkative. ( there's a reason why i'm always noisy, and only a rare few can tell why. )
14. I like writing, literally.
15. My birthday falls on the 26th of January.
16. I may be dumb, but i'm not stupid.
17. I hate waitng, even when it's for red lights to turn green. I am, however, extremely patient ( case-by-case-basis.)
18. You can never know enough about someone even in just a lifetime.
19. I know what i want, but i can't bring myself to say it.
20. Sometimes, just sometimes, i wonder if i'm still alive.
21. I used to watch the sunset. Now, the sun never rises.
22. I, am quite sure that i, do not possess the ability and capacity to Love anyone.
23. I want to run away.
24. Because of you, my life's not even mine.
25. I love subway cookies.
26. I never tell the truth, yet, i always do. heh. Go figure.

A year back

2008-08-04T06:18:00.001-07:00

Our shadows.
I miss my two bestfriends real bad. I was actually doing math, 'cause i have a test tomorrow and i'm so sick of failing and failing and failing. Then, I suddenly remembered how Russell kept nagging at me to complete all my homework especially my math last year before o levels, he wanted me to do well that's why. And i remembered how he was there to catch me when i fell, when i strained my thigh muscles real bad during PE and couldn't even walk down the stairs properly. He just randomly appeared out of no where when i fell, and he caught me and he held me and he didn't let me fall. I know that i can always count on russell for sure no matter what happens. No matter what happens. I remembered how we used to take long walks, sometimes after my netball training, sometimes just randomly. We'd walk up slope, down slope straight roads and around many bends until we reach a large grassland where we stopped to look at the clear blue sky. We'd take random photographs of each other, mainly of me by him and we'd talk about everything we wanted to, everything we needed to. Russ, thank you so much for always being around, you're truely my champion and yes, i'll always be your beautiful inspiration, bestie (:

Taralyn Taralyn Taralyn. I miss Tara so much as well. We've come a long way since primary shcool and i know life'd have been enitrely different if i didn't have tara in it. This babe is crazy, and she's definitely the bestest bestfriend anyone can ask for. I remember how we used to go shopping at tm cause we couldn't really go elsewhere ( 'cause we were TOO YOUNG! ) Heh, we'd talk about all the silly things like boys. I grew up with you Tara, and i'll always be grateful for having you as my bestfriend. You're always around to listen when i'm upset, you understand when i needed you to and you forgave me for all my mistakes unconditionally. I LOVE YOU TARA.

Life's been crazy, and it's people like them, and Ethel, Suren, Jun, and Donna that really make life so much more bearable. I'm lucky.

Day out.

2008-08-03T02:23:00.000-07:00

A Picture of my group as promised (:

I haven't been bloggin', I know. I've been too LAZY to. Nothin much's been going recently actually, but there's been so much to do, and too little time.

Light
Enclosed
Entrapped
Strangled
Struggled
Liberated
Weathered
Withered.
I am; a puppet of my own intelligence
I am; a puppet of my own perception.

Ended up hangin' out with my good gracious yesterday afternoon. It was hilarious. Jun to Suren: "See, 'cause of you i cannot sleep! And you are sleeping?". Hahaha the guys are really funny. Sat at starbucks for quite sometime doing nothing much in particular, we were supposed to be studying but do note that the main word here is supposed. Jun is such a natural when it comes to jokes. " How how what to drink what to drink? I just don't want anything to do with chocolate! " x 9837498412, " Okay, I think i'll get a chocolate frappe." (So much for not wanting to do with chocolate. I ordered a Java chip, and when he finally reached the counter and the lady asked him what he'd like to have, this is what he said. " Uh, Java Chip Tall." I swear, that guy has problems making up his mind. But he is a very good mind reader, which gets pretty scary sometimes. In the midst of all the laughter, I realized that i was actually watching the crowd around me, and the crowd outside the windows. They came and left, a few stayed for awhile and even fewer stayed for long. It suddenly came to my mind how it was like in life. We go through the path we have to so quickly just to get to our destination, but how many of us actually bother to pause and look around, and enjoy the journey instead of rushing through it. How many little things in life have we missed out on when we blindly head towards the end. At the end of the day, maybe we'll all reach our destination, but how many of us actually went through a Journey to get there?

Sometimes, people tell me i think too much.
I had a nice long walk. (:

Today's the second day of SINGFEST 2008! Except that i'm not there simply because i have too much work to do ): It's okay, BAYBEATS are comin' soon, 30th August! (:

Leadership Training Camp

2008-07-27T02:01:00.000-07:00

CHEESECAKE.
That's what my group called ourselves.

Daryl, Benedict, Ali, Rizwan, Kevin Ng, Jimson, Gloria, Joanne Lim, Linette and Sheena&Rena. I love you guys so much.
These people, heh. M.A.D. That's what Sheena called us, yeah we were crazy, but what she really meant was that we Made A Difference, together as a team. (:

Day One
Got to know the people in my group better, met sheena beforehand once during the DISC workkshop condusted by the same company a week before the camp itself and hell was i glad that she's my facilitator! Everyone was kinda quiet and a wee bit awkward at first 'cause we didn't really know each other, i haven't even seen some of them like Ben and Jimson around school until then. I guess the time that our team finally started to really bond was during the Tug-of-War game during the night. Everyone didn't give up and kept giving their 9073972049341% even though we kept losing, initially. I have to say, i was and STILL AM, extremely proud of all the people in my team because they pesevered till the end and those that weren't pulling the rope continuously cheered their lungs out in support of our team. Thanks guys, you guys are really a fantastic bunch to work with. Gloria volunteered to be on the panel that night, and her task was to convince the judges that our team is the best team ever. Guess what? All she did was to tell the truth, what she felt and what was real. She did a great job and we got FIRST! Heh, good job Glo (: I was already beginning to love my teamates.

Day Two
Most stuff happened on the ropes course today. But before that happened, we played a survival game and our team kinda "died". Hahaha 'cause we all chose to "trek to the nearest town in stead of staying at the spot where the plane crashed. " All of us, except gloria that is. Oh well, I finally discovered that i can actually climb the rock wall! It felt really good! We went on the the ropes course competition for the rest of that day and Jimson was our leader. He was kinda quiet but he lead very well in his own silent ways. (: I was exhausted, but what really kept me going throughout the whole 4 hours, was my teamates. I saw them all playing their best and playing hard. I saw them all pespiring like crazy under the hot sun but still pesevering all the way. I saw the fearful expression across some of their faces but they still overcame their fears and went ahead to complete their task, and complete it well. I saw, that they believed in our team, and they were doing all that they could for the team. At the end of the entire activity, we were dead beat, but we did a great job and earn plenty of points (: Went out for a hearty dinner at the nearby hawker centre, as a team. Linette was on the panel that night and again, she just said what was true(: We won again! Guys, you all are simply inspirational.

Day Three
To Gloria: You're a fantastic leader, because you know just the right time to step up and step down. You're not overly in charged but you are able to give constructive feedbacks when needed. You definitely posses the ability to become a much greater leader than you already are in future. (:
To Linette: I definitely saw you grow as a leader over the very short period of three days(: You did a great job helping out team to win the panel challenge and i'm extremely proud of you 'cause you completed the high rope course even though you were really frightened. Great job linette, you dance EXTREMELY WELL TOO! SO HOT!! ;p
To Joanne Lim: Like you said, you're a Step Down leader but it's evident that you have a great mind with great ideas. Do remember that happiness is a state of mind and it's within your control, just keep smiling and everything will turn out to be a'lrt, good job playing catching!
To Rizwan: You are so much better than you think you are Rizwan, and everyone in the team can see it. Don't doubt your abilities for you will never know how great they are until you allow yourself to show themselves. You are so much more capable than you think you are, I KNOW it, i've seen it, i've experienced it. Just go for whatever you believe in Rizwan, we'll always be supporting you no matter what. (:
To Jimson: You're a wonderful leader Jimson, we all knew it ever since you stepped up to lead us during the high rope element course. You never once lost your patience with us even when things started going slower then we hoped for it to be. You encouraged us and gave us constant time checks to keep us on track and focused, well done Jimson(:
To Ali: DUDE, you're like the energy bar ever-ready and always bursting with enthusiasm! I really appreciate how you are always so devoted to the team and participate in every possible way with zest and committment. Thank you Ali, you definitely helped to boost the team's morale alot during the past three days, Thank you(:
To Daryl: You, are the laughing pill of the team. You're pretty quiet no doubt, but you express yourself so comically throught your very unique actions. You don't even have to try to make us smile, you just do. Daryl, you're fantastic when it comes to accepting and listening to ideas and opinions and that makes you a great leader, keep going daryl! you're really cute hahaha you keep makin' us all laugh! (:
To Kevin Ng: I saw a totally different side of you during camp, a side i never saw when it was there all along. You were so hilarious with all your darmatic actions and speech but you also knew when to be serious and gave very constructive and intelligent feedback and ideas when necessary. You were sincere and you wanted to help the team with all your heart. Kevin, you're a great guy(: Now i know that for sure, even though you're annoying ;p
To Benedict: You're special. I mean it. You have this unique style when it comes to leading a team, you don't have to speak many great words or do anything to make us want to follow you. You just, I have no words to describe you except that i respect you(:
To Sheena: You are simply, EXTRAORDINARY.

Maybe someday my teamates will stumble upon my blog and see all that i've typed here for them, maybe they never will. No matter the case, they're difinitely the greatest team i've ever worked with by far, and I will never forget this experience, because they made a difference in my LTC journey. (: Thank you.

Battered.

2008-07-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was pretty happening.
It was TPJC's annual road run yesterday but it was pouring heavily when the race was scheduled to begin. So all the poor TPJC students had to wait till about 9.30am, before things finally got started. Nothing much happened cause plenty had already left by then, but hell the guys can run really fast! 3Km in about 11 mins! I managed to squeeze into the top 30 for the competitive girls category, rather surprisingly i must say, and got a medal for it. Hahaha, 26th. (: Claudia did really well! she got 8th, i think, top ten. Hahaha!
Hit Parkway with some of the 22nd councillors after that, Naz, demon, astrid, yongdon, nicole, weijiang, wyntrice and i'm sorry if i left out anyone but they're all really nice people(: Bought a new pencil box from borders (finally), then went to lunch at BK with demon. Demon and i are fine now and it's really cool 'cause he's sucha great friend.
THEN, things started to get exciting. I went back to ECP and met up with Junguang, Suren, Hansley ( I'm not really sure how his name is spelt ), Jerial and two other friends of theirs to blade. Mind you, i can't blade for nuts. But the four guys ( minus suren ) are all really good skaters and they're way cool! so when we finally got into our blades, I started to feel like an idiot. HAH. We all held onto each other by the waist and did this " Dragon " thing, we went SO FAST! HELL was it FUN and it was really crazy! I was pretty freaked out though cause i didn't even know how to blade and i couldn't balance myself properly so in the end i kinda like flew and skid. Pretty bad fall and my upper right knee, upper thigh, lower and upper back and shoulder all scraped pretty hard. That was only the FIRST fall. The 2nd time was when i was trying to go down the slope, but i went straight into Jun who totally freaked out ( you should have seen his expression! ) and crashed into him so hard that i fell backwards this time and hit the back of my head real hard on the concrete slope. Everyone was laughing like crazy! Man it was so embarrassing!
Heh, injured and all, yesterday was really fun, and skating with the buncha them really made my day (: Thanks guys! Tomorrow's the start of LTC!

today

2008-07-22T07:53:00.000-07:00

I remember.

Went to ACJC today to watch the Gold with Honours SYF pieces by RJC, TJC, HCI and ACS(I). Most of it was good, but the most commendable piece is most definitely the one presented to us by ACS(I). It was simply FANTASTIC. All the performers delivered a high energy performance and sustained it throughout the entire duration of the play! They were extremely funny yet didn't overdo it to the extent that it became corny, in fact the acting was so good that all the audience members were highly engaged with it and could not stop laughing through the play! They most definitely deserve winning the Gold with Honours award for SYF. Splendid job, well done ACS(I) !
I was Pretty lucky, got to meet up with my BESTIE! Russell Chan! (: Finally gave him is random tin of surprises ( after like a really long time. I don't even know if the food inside is still edible or not. ) Also saw Pammy and Jon ( finally ), they're all nice people hahaha. I miss my bestie so much! Was reallt good that i got to see him today (:

Lot's in issues recently, well actually not many. Just a single persistent one. I say single because both issues fall under the same form and category. Shan't dwell on it thought because i've decided that i will not be bothered by such things anymore. Besides, it's high time i started studying! I oew like about 387097474324 tons of homework ever since i got back from helping the seniors with TSD a levels. But am catching up slowly bt surely. (: Suhara was so sweet today, she gave ethel and I this THANKYOU headband and a bar of chocolate to thank us for helping her with her IS, and she wants us to wear the band around our forehead! Hahaha seriously?! Something totally random, i've decided which book to use for my book of 2009 already, an so i'll need to visit artfriend soon(: I AM DEAD BROKE.

I love you Ethel (:

Pictures(:

2008-07-21T08:19:00.000-07:00

Time for some picture blogging! (:

Both the work of my art. Hahaha Jasmen and Moritz! (TSD A levels).

ID shots.

My Kid's size chocolate milk !

Where i had tea ;p

Esplanade library

Checkered bagpack(:

Flowers i received during Dancefest'08 from Bry.

More pictures of the band

Jokoh, the basist. He's one funny guy!

Suren and Jokoh.

" The normal, is simply the many."
Indeed. So before you discriminate against the minorities in our society or in anyplace even schools, think about yourself first. Are you "normal?", or are you merely, the majority, the bunch that have no sense of individuality.

THEIGHT.

2008-07-18T23:43:00.001-07:00

Tons of pictures comin' your way in this post!
Haven't been bloggin' for quite awhile, 'cause i haven't had the time to, but i've got so much to say! The past 2 weeks have been pretty crazy with lotsa last min events comin' my way. Had a surprise farewell and birthday party at New York New York for Vicki and Taralyn respectively. Also spent the past 2 weeks getting to know the guys ( Suren, Suren's brother, Jun and Jokoh ) better. (: Okay check out the pictures first!

One of our rare PROPER shots. With Jokoh doing some funny face!

This one's just WEIRD. I look like i'm sniffing Jun's shoulder. And Suren... HIS EYES LOOK LIKE THEY'RE GONNA POP OUT.

I like this shot of Jun.

Ethel and I

NO i wasn't sniffing myself, suren! I was just laughing real hard. Dude, look at JOKOH'S FACE!

Personal Favourite. Us in the VIP room before everything. Shot taken by Jun. (:

Band photo.

Blurry band photo.

We were having quite alot of fun in the guys' dressing room before our performance. Lookin' two weeks back, i'm really glad i agreed to sing for dancefest with these fantastic guys even though everything was terribly last minute. During the past two weeks, i got to know these guys better, and i definitely saw (especially) Junguang in a different light. He's not so scary anymore and in fact he is pretty nice. Hahaha! Suren's just about the sweetest guy around and he's pleasantly easy to talk to about almost everything undr the sun. Didn't talk to Jokoh as much but that guy is one seriously talented musician, impressive. Jokoh's also really nice to talk to and he's so funny! He's always makin' us all laugh with his silly antics! Suren's brother is probably the quietest one among all 'cause he's uh, mature and less energetic maybe? Hahaha just kidding! but he's really nice too! One thing all the guys have in common is definitely, THE LOOKS. They're ALL really good looking and so for the past 2 weeks i was hanging out with really hot guys. HAHAHA!
At the end of the day, after our performance, i don't really know how we did 'cause i got comments ranging from '" AWESOME STUFF HALEY!" to " it was pretty bad man". But i guess, it doesn't really matter. What i experienced during the past two weeks is way more valuble than the end product of our combined efforts. These guys are a bunch of really wonderful people and i daresay, I LOVE THEM (: Hopefully we'll get to work together again soon, Sleepysmelly ( suren ), My good gracious ( Junguang ), Jokoh ( Joel Koh ) and sleepysmelly's bro. Thanks guys, for giving me the chance to work with you guys, for all your patience and time. (: And of course, Thank you ethel for all your encouragement and support as well(:

*I received a lovely bouquet of flowers after my performance, (: Thank you.*

A'lrt, now for some pictures of our group outing/surprise party.

If you're wondering why there's a random photo of THE GAME OF LIFE among my pictures, it's 'cause, IT'S NOT RANDOM. It's our group's primary six game. (:
We call ourselves The Eight, simply because there were eight of us and we just gave up trying to think of a nice group name. When i talk about these primary school friends of mine, people usually get really surprised and go " what? you still hang out with your primary school friends!?" . Yeah, i do. And in fact we're still pretty much as close as ever. Elaine has left for malaysia, Dionis has her new group of friends and now Vicki had left for Canada. But it doesn't matter. Every christmas, every year, we'll still send'em group presents. It's really amazing how far we've come after all these years even though we weren't in the same secondary school or junior college/ polytechnic. I will NEVER forget all the things we did when we were still young and crazy during primary school. It seems like just yesterday when we sat together in class after PSLE to play the game of life. Now, we're all really moving on and playing our game of Life for real. But just as in the game, no one plays alone. 'Cause no matter what happens, we'll always have each other to hold. I love The Eight. (: Always have and always will. We'll miss you Vicki!

glup

2008-07-12T06:04:00.000-07:00

MiseryBusinessMiseryBusinessMiseryBusiness.

Either, Or

2008-07-09T06:40:00.000-07:00

If you don't leave this house I will.
If you don't leave this world I will.
Because I can't stand you. You disgust me.
You make me see nothing but the most dreadful parts of life.
You make me unhappy.
You make me feel like I would be so much better off without you.
And I know i will be.
So do get out of my life, before i remove you from it. Literally.
You never try to understand things.
You can never see anything in a different light.
All you know is negative, bad, wrong, lousy.
Well that's what you are.
You should really shut up and grow up, Stop being a kid.
You're already so old, i wish you were older
'Cause then maybe you'd go faster.
If you think i'm being mean, atrocious, whatsoever.
Shut up. You don't even know what it's like.
All you fools.
The day that i banish you fromt he surface of this earth isn't soo far.
Maybe it is.
In that case, i'll be gone soon.

Sleepyhead.

2008-07-05T05:49:00.000-07:00

TSD has been seriously wacked.
Just a few more days and it'll be the actual A level exams for my dear seniors, evryone's stressed.
My temper's been really bad recently, flared up at my bus buddy that day and i feel so guilty. ): Sorry bus buddy.
Fatboy's a really sweet friend, thank you for cheering me up(:

Indifference.

2008-07-03T06:37:00.001-07:00

Above are some of the pictures taken during the TSD showcase preperation period. Even though TSD is draining my life and soul away at a rapid rate, it really is the only thing that can take my mind off other perturbing matters. The whole week has been really crazy so far, TSD has become my sole purpose of going to school. Well, not exactly, but most of my time in school is largely spent on TSD. Helping the seniors really can get extremely tiring, but i guess it's all in good faith that our J1 juniors next year will be just as helpful as well when we need their assistance. I really hope my seniors will do well for their TSD a levels for they have put in an exponential amount of effort. Go guys, it'll all be over soon! (:

I have so much to say that,
I don't know where to start.
We started off as strangers,
Sometime in the month of march.

You striked me as someone special,
A friend that i thought would last forever.
Well then again,
Define forever.

I hadn't known you for too long,
but you were there when I was down
And you gave me strength when i was weak
You helped me up so i could move on.

I didn't know you very well
but i did all i could when you were upset
'cause all i wanted
was to see you smile.

Now, just when i need you most
You abruptly turn and walk away.
There's nothing i can do but learn to let go
'cause maybe,just maybe, it's better this way.

What a shame,
I thought to myself.
To lose a friend
So dear, so dear to my heart.

I was just thinking how upset i would be when all the seniors graduate from college this year, for they are all so dear to me. I've definitely learnt quite aplenty from them and I know i'll miss them all like crazy. A friend once told me, never fear for when you do it will come true. The year hasn't even ended, but it seems i've lost someone already. I don't know the reason why, really. But whatever it is, I wish you well.

Like a zephyr,
You come and go.

Black and White.

2008-06-30T07:59:00.000-07:00

"Life might try its best to get us down, but deep in all of us lies the strength and resolve to strive for what we believe in. Things that are worth fighting for, so smile (: "

And yes, I will smile. I will face this all with a smile. I got only what i deserved, for i never did bother to put in ANY effort. It's a major wake up call now, and i'm gonna strive for what i know i am capable of. I must not, and will not let those who believe in me down.
Thank you demon and wyntrice for the hugs of comfort. Thank you BuZhiDao for caring enough to ask and cheer me up. Thank you ethel for always being around to listen to my problems and unhappiness. Thank you to all the TSD people of WEISBEHURR and many others who were there to do crazy things with me and help me forget all my woes without even trying to. TSD showcase tonight was a great success(: Tomorrow night will be too!

Today, i saw a new side of you, a side i never thought would surface, a side i never even thought existed. You surprised me, but then again what can i say? Life is full of surprises, people are full of surprises. Haha. I don't wanna think anymore.

Thank you fatboy, for the very comforting words above. (:

The Simple Life.

2008-06-29T07:52:00.000-07:00

I just came home, from the most tiring walk home EVER.
But it was also really fun! Hahaha. I sped walk to Loyang Point at about 2040 to get my ID photo taken for the council board. I rushed like crazy cause i wasn't sure if the shop was gonna close at 2100 or 2130. Bryan was being really paranoid! He kept saying that it should be closed by now (then) 'cause it's a sunday today and people won't wanna work so late. Okay but i also rushed because there were bolts of lightning flashing across the sky and thunder rolling in the distance. Anyways, THANK GOODNESS. When i got there the shop was still open so i took my ID photo. HAHA, the guy at the photo shop said that the guy that came earlier before me, is really handsome. Guess who? SEAN FOO. HAHAHA OMG.
Okay that aside, i had to wait 30 mins just to get my ID photos! 'Cause they were printing some 300+ photos for some God knows who person so i had to wait! Which meant eating dinner for half an hour, ALONE. I swear, it was the most depressing dinner i've ever had in my life. It's also the first, and hopefully the last dinner, that i ate all by myself ): Met up with Seanie after i got my photoss and i teased him about his "admirer", THE ID PHOTO GUY! Hahahaha! Then he chased me all over on the road just to steal my ID photos 'cause he wanted to see them! It was SO fun 'cause we were running in the middle of the road back and forth at full speed like as if we owned the road. In the end we came to a compromise and swap one photo each. Hahaha it was a fun walk(: And for just a moment, i felt myself slipping away from reality. Just laughing and playing and happy for real, haha oh well, it lasted but a moment.
Didn't have anything much to do today so i wrote tons of post-it notes for tons of people. Half of them aren't even in TPJC so i'm gonna have to pass them to my MJ friends. Tomorrow night is gonna be a blast! 'Cause WEISBEHURR is performing at the J2 TSD PUBLIC SHOWCASE at the TPJC BB! WHOOHOO. Okay i really hope everything goes smoothly and that they will all do fantastic! They've really put in alot of effort for their group piece and it's timeto show the public what their capable of! (: GO GUYS! Hopefully i can meet up with Bry soon (:

Red Alert mode

2008-06-27T06:54:00.000-07:00

I was absolutely mean today.

I trapped myself from deep within for for too long. Now all the million and one different emotions i'm feeling are all piling up, pushing against the gates of my heart. Anytime now, those gates will burst open; or will it not?

There are so many words i want to scream out loud for all the world to hear.
All my hopes
All my dreams
All my fears
All my anguish
All my joy
All my pride
All that i love
All that i pray for
All my flaws
All my pain.
I am luckier than many others out there. I should be thankful, I should be content with all that i have around me. But so many moments, i don't know what to feel, how to react. Because I am so tired of always being okay. Everything i do i think you you people first. I don't need recognition, i don't need praise. But all i'm asking is for people to be more conscious about their actions and speech. I'm not even making sense now. I'm just ranting and ranting non stop on this cyberSPACE, literally. What's wrong with me. I need to shape up. I need to find a direction in life. I am missing a few people very very badly at this moment in time. Russell, Bry, Demon, Tara, Ethel.

No, it won't. 'Cause i'll be okay in just awhile. Like how i always am.

Oh no i just keep on fallin

2008-06-26T05:13:00.000-07:00

Free-IQTest.net - Free IQ Test

Oh dear, My IQ's goin' from bad to worse.

The math paper today wasn't difficult. In fact, the standard of the paper was definitely, really low. Heh, but I still screwed it up really badly 'cause i didn't know how to use th calculator, some sums stumped me 'cause i ain't got no idea we were even taught to do them. I guess that's the price to pay for not paying attention during lectures and not handing any tutorial assignments for the past 6 months, for math (mainly). I'm feeling pretty perplexed right now. My mind, has two different visions before them. One, a blank piece of paper filled with never ending scribbles all over the place. Every corner, every inch of this piece of paper has been covered with scribbles so much so that you can't even tell what the original base colour of this piece of paper was. The other, a blank piece of paper, waiting to be written on neatly, clear-headedly.

I don't know if it'll make sense to anyone, actually I don't really care either. The thing is, I know i have been procrastinating for far too long and i should have stopped, since forever. On the other hand, i sometimes see no purpose in what i am doing at this point in my life. Take the exams for example. I haven't studied for anything so far, not because i'm lazy and don't want to but because everytime i flip open my books and see line after line after line after lines of words that don't really mean anything to me; i lose interest. Are they really important? Am i studying just so i can ace the exams, become a top student and get all the glory for it? What is the point really? Going for the exams without studying feels like going to a battle without a weapon. It's like sparring unarmed, with an army much srtonger than my own, an army that's fully equipped; ready to take my life. But studying without a purpose then feels like going to battle for the sake of going to battle. Just following orders and fighting for nothing at all. Either ways, I will most likely lose the battle, and i will definitely be unhappy.

I know i can stop all this retarded battle no battle nonsense and just get my head into studying and evade all the failure. But you know something, try as i might, i still will never be able to runaway from the unhappiness within.

Hung out with Visa and Ethel today at the mall after school. It was pretty cool and relaxing to have random company that's really interesting. Visa seems so, sure. Of what he's doing. It doesn't matter the length of time he's "wasted" as what most people might say. I don't think he wasted it though, it was more like, realization. Now, he's so clear and he knows exactly where he's headin' for. Or at least it seems so.

Sigh, i needa get back on track.

MATH STINKS.

2008-06-25T05:32:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Heng Xinyi!

Secrets About Yourself.

(Be honest no matter what)

[One] Who was your last text from?

: Bryan Lim

[Two] Where was your default picture

taken at?

: Uh...?

[Three ] What's your full name?

: Kimberly Wang Zhi Hui

[Four] Your current relationship

status?

: Let's see, attached. Nah, Married with kids grandkids and great-grand kids.

[Five] Does your crush(s) like you

back?

: Uh, I don't know cause i ain't crushin' on anyone.

[Six] What is your current mood?

: Frustrated 'cause of math.

[Seven] What's your mom's name?

: Doris Ong

[Eight] What color shirt are you

wearing?

: Black

[Nine] What was the last thing you

drank?

: Plain water

[Ten] If you could go back in time and

change something, would you?

: No.

[Eleven] Have a crazy side?

: Yeah.

[Twelve] Ever had a near death

experience?

: On a very frequent basis.

[Thirteen] Something you do a lot?

: Think.

[Fourteen] Angry at anyone?

: No.

[Fifteen] Do you wanna see somebody

right now?

: Yeah, alot of people actually.

[Sixteen] Name someone with the same

birthday as you?

: Fajrina

[Seventeen] When was the last time you

cried?

: Uh i can't remember already..

[Eighteen] Who would you do anything

for?

: Um, most of my friends?

[Nineteen] Who is your idol?

: I have no idols, but i do look up to great people.

[Twenty] What's the first thing you

notice about the opposite gender?

: Overall,

[Twenty-one] What do you usually

order from starbucks?

: java chip mocha frappe.

[Twenty-two] What's your biggest

secret?

: They're all pretty much the same size. Please luh why the heck would i disclose my biggest secret here.

[Twenty-four] Favorite movie?

: Quite a few.

[Twenty-five] Do you still watch

kiddy movies or tv shows?

: sometimes. I like Clifford the Big Red Dog.

[Twenty-six] What are you eating

or drinking at the moment?

: Water vapour.

[Twenty-seven ] Do you speak any

other language?

: chinese and Kimbuage.

[Twenty-eight] What's your favorite

smell?

: gucci envy.

[Thirty] Have you ever kissed in

the rain?

: Nah.

[Thirty-one] Do you like the rain?

: very much actually.

[Thirty-two] What are you thinking about right now?

: BK. (:

We're all young and crazy.

2008-06-24T07:35:00.000-07:00

Hangin' out with Bry, Lorri and Russ always makes my day.
Went over to Loretta's place to study today and Bryan was SO FUNNY.
" Let's switch on the aircon, where's the remote for the aircon? *looks all over the place for the remote controller, under soft toys books papers behing the door in the cupboard* EH WHERE IS IT? I thought she usually leaves it here? * points to a random spot* No meh? Yes what? * looks all over again* OH, THERE!"
It was in a pretty big basket, beside the very big television in Lorri's room. Bryan's quite blind. HAHA ;p.
*Bryan hits the ON button on the remote x 5* '' EH! HOW COME CANNOT ON ONE!! "
Okay we got it switched on in the end, it turns out that the remote's battery was kinda dead that's why it didn't work even thought Bry kept hitting the ON button about 29379864925623 times.

Then Lorri comes home and she's so funny too, we were looking at all the childhood photographs she pasted on the walls in her room. Bryan looked like a dork. =/ HAHAHA Okay okay just in case he reads this and kills me, BRY! You look much better now so don't worry! ;p And she just had to show bryan my primary school photo.. Which looks downright embarrassing. We were really hungry so we went downstairs and bought suishi for lunch! at 5 pm, yeah you heard me right.

Russell came along. And from then on all four of us just had fun talking about stuff that happened in school, about people we know ( bryan was the only one trying to study but he too gave up in the end cause we were, okay actually maybe it's me lol, all too noisy.) Threw pillows at each other, tried to stop me from jumpin' outta the window from the 21st storey ( okay FYI, i WASN'T really gonna jump out. -.-" We were all just being dramatic okay, okay, I was dramatic and they were concerned about my mental state of mind. hahahahaa. Watch " My Amazing Story " on the discovery channel web until Lorri's mum and brother got home. Then we left at about 7pm.

It's was raining. And i love walking in the rain. It's theraputic.
I love you guys so much. (:

I cleaned my room today! I think i was influenced by Lorri's pretty neat room that's why i just felt this major urge to clean my room up. Suddenly, it seems so much bigger. I can see more of the floors and my desk and everything else. I also revamped my billboard! (: I'd post pictures but my camera is really lousy and i couldn't get a decent shot of it so maybe some other time. I can't wait for the exams to be over so we can all hang out and play like crazy. Plus! SHAWN TING IS COMING BACK! I am so darn excited to see that guy again man, except that iknow he's much fatter now and that kinda like puts me off abit cause he ain't too tall so... Shawn you know i don't mean it! ;p Haven't seen that san frans guy for 6 months! Whao, we've got major catching up to do and a food list to complete, which means i'm gonna get pretty fat myself as well.
Nasi Lemak
Chicken Rice
Blackpepper chicken rice
Laksa
Ba Kut Teh
Prata
More Prata
Meepok
And alot of other foodstuffs that shawn ( the hungry ghost ) listed.
It's gonna be crazy!

Round, and round again.

2008-06-23T08:47:00.000-07:00

I want to ride in the Singapore Flyer.

Run like the wind.

2008-06-22T00:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday when i took ONE helium balloon, Bryan called me a kid.
I like helium ballons.
They're so colourful.
I like having a whole bunch ot helium balloons.
I like writing nonsensical things on them, and then letting them go high up into the air.
No, i don't pen my wishes on them, for they never come true.
But i really like helium balloons. (:
IN BULK. HAHA.

I DO APPRECIATE TAGS PEOPLE. SO DO TAG (:

Flashback

2008-06-21T07:24:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to kermit
Happy birthday to you.

Happy 19th kermit. No, i didn't forget. You're 19. I pray that'd you be fine someday, soon. That you'll find inner peace, that you'll be happy and cheery, funny and delightful, healthy and safe always. Study hard and get good grades in your examinations, then you'd be able to reach and do whatever you want to in life. Do your best in everything no matter how hard it might seem. You'll be okay.
Happy birthday kermit.

School starts on monday. Exams start on Monday.
Sometimes i'm so tired of doing the things i HAVE to do. Instead of doing the things i WANT to do. Whatever happened to free will? I guess there really ain't many people out there who daresay that they don't care about what society wants them to be. That they don't care how the society will look upon them for their lack of conformity. That they don't care how everyone is busy running the rat race and that they just want to pursue what the really want in life. Become a professional dancer, musician, artist, etc. Whatever is might be. I hate to say that I myself, don't have the guts to say that as well. Everytime i want to run away from the system, with rather bizarre thoughts in my head, I know at the end of the day i have been moulded and tamed by the system itself and our society already. I am, most unfortunately, too cowardly to escape the system.

On a lighter note, I went out to study with russell and bryan today. Thongs was supposed to come along but she didn't, and Lorri came really LATE. Hahaha. Geography geography I think i'm gonna fail my geography, and possibly my TSD theory paper too. Gee, got a major heart attack after i read our seniors' exam paper last year. Sometimes i wonder, what have i gotten myself into? I really wouldn't mind being the main character of " Back to the Future " and finding out about what my future will be like. Then I could just ditch all the nonsensical and unecessary things that i'm putting myself through right now because of the ambiguity of what the future might hold. Bryan's really disciplined ( mostly only in his studies HAHA). Man, Russell and I wasted hellalotta time talking about stuff that mattered. And bryan was just sitting there. Studying, studying, thinking, trying, solving, learning. I totally SALUTE that guy man. My attention span is like, 10 mins on a good day; Literally. This is when i use the expression "pffffttt..." But it was a good day, we watched a movie at about 5 when Lorri came, ate suishi ( bryan wouldn't let me eat at first 'cause that guy says that im gettin' fat, then when i ask him if i'm fat he says no. TSK, BOYS.) Had lotsa fun, and FOOD. (:
Russell says he has another surprise for me, about a week from now! I can't wait! <3

fiction or reality.

2008-06-18T21:30:00.000-07:00

I had a nightmare.

I dreamt that we all, were in a war. Everything was shattered.
Destroyed.
The only thing i could think of,
were all the people i love.
All the people that matter to me.

I searched through the rubble.
For Bryan Lim, Russell Chan, Loretta Ho, Taralyn Teo, Sean Foo, Desmond, Ethel Tan.
I searched, desperately.
I cannot explain the emotion i felt when i found them all safe and sound, one by one.

Sounds pretty stupid huh. But i guess it's really true.
It was my subconscious mind that was telling me,
These, are the people that matter to me most at this point in time.
and these, are the people i love, at this point in time.

I cried the hardest when i found Bry, Russ, Tara and Sean.

DEBATE.

2008-06-13T22:53:00.000-07:00

I LOVE TEMASEK DEBATE!
I had SO MUCH FUN last night back in tms(: First surprise of the day: RUSSELL was in school too! YAY. Second surprise: Mr Terence Yeo and Mr Vincent Toh! (: These two ( especially Mr terence Yeo are like the funniest and friendliest teachers in school man. Among the Men.) Anyways, Mr yeo said he was growing Fat. HAHAHAHA. WHATEVER!
Anyways, hung out with russ and CHRIS! at the canteen for awhile before meeting up with the debators. They started preparing water bombs and all and WENG GOT DUNKED! HAHAHA. *yes everyone this is when you applaud me* I just took the pail and dunked it over his head. And I had to chase him all over the parade square and bball court too. ARGH WENG. Made me run like crazy.Okay but heck it was so fun.
Then we had to start Barbequeing. And guess what, Weng bought some lousy self-starting-charcoal thing which couldn't light up. we spent about an hour just trying to get the charcoal to burn and had to resort to using lighter fluid to get it burning. It was HILARIOUS. Finally we started cookin and all. Then we all sat down at the teacher's table, no less, for dinner(:
IT WAS GOOD. (I was hungry) IT WAS DARN GOOD. And miss siti's veggie's were the BEST! After that, we all had pretty cupcakes the miss siti bought for us all, to thank us for going for camp.

We really should be thanking you guys instead. (:
I had a great time ( dunking pails of water and throwing water bombs at weng)!

2008-06-12T23:10:00.000-07:00

So Close
Jon McLaughlin

You're in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams must die
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
Now you're beside me and look how far we've come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We're so close
To reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close

And still so far

I called them all, way too many times before someone, finally picked up the phone. Why is it that when they're needed most, they just so happen to disappear, at that moment in time.
Ananke: The natural order of things.
Is it to help us learn, to become more independent. To become more resilent. Doesn't work all the time, 'Cause if MC didn't pick up the phone, probably nobody else would have to anymore.

Hung ouy with my two bestfriends Tara and Russ. And they really made my day. They didn't question, they didn't probe, they didn't even act any different, than how they usually would. They made me feel safe, they helped me stay brave. Without even trying, they just do, in they're own very special way. Taralyn's nuts, she just HAD to use those pretty earrings for something. Heh. Tara spotted an ID photo machine. So each of us paid 2 bucks, and took really cool ID photos!

Yup, Russell's face can't be seen, Thanks to Tara and I (: And he kept complaining that he paid to bucks for a faceless photo. Well, Faceless or not, This photo is probably the most precious and meaningful photo to me, ever. I love you two. Taralyn, and Russell.

Went over to Coasta Sands Chalet (Pasir Ris) For my Secondary school class chalet. Saw all the very different yet somewhat familiar faces. Couldn't recognise ZuCheng at all even when he said Hi to me. Heh. Different, but mostly the same i guess. The food was SO GOOD. MX, can i go over to your house for dinner everynight from this day on? If your dad cooks. Hahaha the food's REALLY GOOOD. Nothing special, but definitely good. ;p
Okay guess what, we got pretty bored after dinner and all, so we play our class' all time favourite game. CAPTAIN'S BALL. Hahahaha it was SO LAME! But heck, we just played like crazy, like how we used to when we were still in school, like how we used to during PE. And that was definitely the time to see everyone, back to who they really were. It was really fun. ZUCHENG CAN'T CATCH THE BALL! Hahaha(: I skipped Full Frontal for the class chalet, but i guess, it was worth it. (:

Hung out with Bryan at the park after that, with nothing much to do in particular. So we just did really stupid and fun stuff like ATTEMPTING to walk through the mangrove swamp. I say attempting because i chickened out. Hahaha it was pitch black! you can't even see your fingers when you raise your hands in front of your face! So as usual, He laughed at me. Pfft. Went back to the chalet after an hour or so, to get my drinks. (:

MX, MIX HALF NEXT TIME. One shot is spastic, I couldn't taste it. =/

Oh, special mention; Thank you MC. Even though you're retarded. Thank you very much.

In a different light.

2008-06-11T08:19:00.000-07:00

Time.
Some people say they've been waitin' for so long.
And then they say, they're tired.
But, how long is long?
Time.
If Man had not created a measurement for it,
All the Time that we've spent on waiting for that something special
could very well be nothin' more than a mere moment.

Went to school for TSD boot camp today. Looked real silly in front of all the J2 TSD seniors. Aw man, I got the group name wrong, TWICE. it's WEISBEHURR! =/
Spending time with the seniors today was really fun, and i got to know them better as well. MAN, they're all so funny! Like Conan and Naf. Hahaha, Hung out with Felina at the college's titanic too. We talked about so much stuff, and watched aeroplanes fly by as the glow of the evening sky faded to darkness.
There wasn't a star in sight.
There still isn't a star in sight tonight.

Fe dear, you'll be a'lrt. (:
Just see things in a different light, you deserve much more.
You go girl! <3

Demon's pretty good at makin' me smile. You see, he randomly texts me the random-est things. "I think i'm gonna shave my head again tomorrow."
"Uh, okay. Why is it getting too hot again?"
"Nah i just miss feeling the breeze going through my hair haha!"
"Dude, STAND IN FRONT OF THE FAN ;p"
And yes, percy pigs are nice(: Thank you.

You can fool the world,
But you can't fool me.
Of course, How can you fool someone
who's playing the same game.

Bestfriends lunch date tomorrow with Tara and Russ
I CAN HARDLY WAIT!
Then 4N class chalet!
And Full Frontal at 8pm at the Esplanade.

Your photography skills are pretty good, kermit.

PLAY

2008-06-10T07:35:00.000-07:00

Bryan's out clubbing.
Ethel's happily shopping in Bangkok.
Charissa and Wai yew are meetin' up in TOKYO.
I am at home.

Pffftttt......

Tomorrow i'll be hittin' school (AGAIN) for TSD boot camp! Hahaha it's pretty exciting, gonna help Sheisbehurr! They did really well for the prelims, (: GO YOU GUYS!
Let's see, will probably be bored at, many points in time especially without my babe ): So i guess i'll bring down all my chinese homework to complete and maybe some geog notes to read. Hmm, at least there're fun people like kevin, wendy and felina in school too! (:

RUSSELL YOU HAVE TO PLAN LUNCH. If not i'm gonna kill your TV. ;p
4N Class chalet's on Thursday! Oh man i so can't wait to see the family again! terence, curly( jonathan), xy, belle, mayves, mx, (:
And i've gotta hang out with taralyn more.

Just blindly chasin' a dream i don't know of.
Just clinging on to what's left to hope for.
Just wearily wishing upon those invisible stars.
Just living, 'cause time is not yet up.

dreams do come true?

2008-06-08T06:43:00.000-07:00

When you look into my eyes
can you see what i feel?

Sorry, you were saying?

2008-06-03T20:05:00.000-07:00

My holidays go like this: TSD TSD TSD HOMEWORK TSD TSD TSD NETBALL DEBATE TSD TSD TSD EXAMS TSD TSD TSD & all the other small things.
From here i can conclude that, TSD= LIFE.

" No they didn't die from the cold outside. But oh how they died, from the cold within."

2008-06-01T00:10:00.000-07:00

NETBALL BBQ

Shawn's gone. ): As in, he ain't gonna be teachin' us anymore cause he's gone on to do other, greater, things. Pretty upset that he's gone though, the whole TSD class does. He gave us each a mask that'll serve as a momento. Shawn, we'll miss you so.

FUNSHOT

My mask, and charissa behind doing God knows what?

Charissa trying to cover her hair with her hoodie.

Had netball BBQ after that with the TPJC netballers! <3>

I don't know?

2008-05-26T06:14:00.000-07:00

On the 23rd of May: Demon gave me Percy Pig Gummys, and decided to name me after them. LOL.Just a random funny/happy thought.

I'm so sick of being the strong one.
I am so darn confused.
I want to eat mushrooms.

Go on

2008-05-24T08:06:00.000-07:00

I sat, on the cold gravel seat this evening.
Just like how we used to.
I leaned, against the stiff wooden pillar,
Just like we used to.

I remember, do you?

I walked, along the long tarred road,
Just like we used to.
I looked, at all that was in front of me,
Just like we used to.

I remember, do you?

I made up my mind,
To forget, for now and forever.
To forgive, you and all those people.
To free, my own heart and soul and mind.

I will forget, like you.

I let the wind, take my fears with it.
I let the rain, wash away all my tears.
I let the light, relieve my heartache.
I let every memory, drain away.

And i will live, not merely exist.

I looked another way.

2008-05-21T05:58:00.000-07:00

" 'Cause i'm just livin', like i should."

It's been a crazy week. (: But it's been real good. There ARE many nice people around, people like Markchan, Buzhidao, Guangshun, Wyntrice, Zizie, Waiwan and so many many many more. (: Thank you all you crazy people for makin' me happy again (: LOVE.

2008-05-13T06:20:00.000-07:00

Rainbows and Stars don't even seem to work anymore.
I have this really srtong craving for gummybears now.

SHIT, save my sanity.

2008-05-12T06:40:00.000-07:00

I must remain SANE.
'Cause if i don't. I'd definitely do some serious damage.
I need to STOP. SLOW DOWN. BREATHE.
Russell i miss you REAL BAD. Bestie, i need you.

I cannot control my emotions. I keep trying but it becoming really obvious 'cause my moods switch really quickly. I no longer have the stamina to sustain my act. I no longer am able to pretend that everything is perfect. I am freaking afraid that i might just go MAD from all this "chocking down what my heart says" bullshit. Stop telling me that I am strong. Sometimes i don't want to be. Someone once told me " Kim, you're too strong for your own good. You'll see what i mean one day." and now i see it. I see that it's making me go CRAZY. LITERALLY.

I will be fine. I have to be. I have always been, will still be and for ever will be, fine.

nothingness

2008-05-11T01:32:00.000-07:00

I wanna runaway.
Won't somebody help me escape.
I just wanna find my way,
And I counldn't care less about what you have to say.

Who am i, really?

2008-05-09T05:29:00.000-07:00

I'm screamin' out loud to those all around
Yet my sorrows have no sound.

Please stop all these pretence right now.

There're moments when i think i'm losing this fight
I'm struggling to keep up with all my might.

You're revolting.

I've tried to tell those stars at night
but they've been disappearing from my sight.

I can't stand living with you.

Numb your heart and you'd be fine
I'm telling you now, that's a lie.

You're the cause of what i am today.

With every second that goes by
The stronger my desire to fly then die.

What can i do to make you see?

Rip my heart out of my soul
Then what's there left for life to hold.

That i hate you, That i love you.

Take me to a place where i can spend my time dreaming.
Take me to a place where i can have a bird's eye view of everything.
Take me to a place where i can scream and there'd be no one there to see.
Take me to a place, where i can fly a kite and run so freely.
Take me to a place where i can watch the stars at night.
Take me to a place, where the sunset lasts forever.
Take me to a place where rainbows and stars exist together.
Take me to a place, safe from this everyday craze.
Take me to someplace, someplace only we know.

Threw the flowers for her straight into the bin.

Council Pictures

2008-05-07T06:09:00.000-07:00

I love the council! (:

You, can't you tell that i'm ignoring you.

My poor head

2008-05-04T06:34:00.000-07:00

My poor head, is gonna blow. Confused.

Can't wait for the 8th of may, Mayves', Bryan's, Sabri's birthday. DINNER DINNER DINNER with Mun, Bry, Tara, Russell!

Keep smiling and everything will be a'lrt.

2008-05-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

We started off not knowing what to do. But ended up having quite a lot of fun. (:

Today was just great 'cause it took my mind off everything. ALl i did was just enjoy myself. Man, it's SO FUN teasing suren i swear. He's so funny! and Jun is like this fierce but super wacked and funny guy. Ethel's just HIGH. Heh, the four of us ended the day drinking under some random void deck. Thanks guys, for makin' me laugh and takin' my mind off all the bullshit that's been goin' on. Will join you guys for jamming tomorrow! (:

Two-way road.

2008-04-30T05:36:00.000-07:00

Things just keep getting better, and it just keeps getting worse. Heh.

SPORTS DAY. My first ever in TPJC, and man did i enjoy it! Went wild with the people of FALCON house. Screamed and cheered all my guts out. Today i learnt how to play with the spinning thing, CHE LING i think, found out that there's this genius in TPJC who plays the piano REALLY FANTASTICALLY, learnt how to blade on my own for about an hour or so, attempted to climb the rock wall but pretty much failed miserably. (: Really took my mind off everything that's been going on lately, and even though it's still somewhere up there in my head, at least i'm distracted and ain't thinking as much about it.

Ethel finally woke up ( after I did all those wacky things on my own cause she was SLEEPING like a PIG in the council room ;p ). Oh yes i forgot to mention that we can finally enter the council room. (: But it's kinda smelly... HAHAHA. Anyway, we wentt bubbling and ended up pigging out like crazy. We ordered SO MUCH food and had 2 cups of bubble tea each. It was CRAZY. But it was good 'cause we both deserve it after going through so much of crap for the past few weeks. Talked alot, wanted to do crazy stuff but didn't in the end. Oh well, there's always next time (: I LOVE THAT BABE.

Finally went to the place, my place, my obscure keeper of a thousand secrets. Met up and hung out with Bryan Lim at the playground till about 1830. Updated him on all the stuff that was going on, poured all my complains and thoughts out. I like hangin' out with Bryan, and i enjoy telling him stuff 'cause he listens. He really LISTENS. He doesn't just listen selectively, or space out halfway, or tells me what to do, or just keep telling me what he thinks and not listen to what i'm trying to say. He bothers to LISTEN. Then give opinions, and advice if any. That's really rare 'cause not many guys these days can do just that. Thank you Bryan Lim, for being such a great listener, and for being there for me(: .

But while i was at the playground, (within half an hour actually) I got 24 mosquito bites on my legs! YES i COUNTED. 'Cause i got a shock, there were SO MANY. I looked down and saw red spots emerging all over, man ethel says i'm gonna get dengue fever soon. Yes, Thanks babe. lol. Oh things just keep getting better, techinically they can't get any worse 'cause it's pretty much at the maximum. I can't wait for tomorrow, it's gonna be another crazy day 'cause the I'll be hangin' out with the band and friends! (: awesome!

The thing that's weighing my mind now is. I miss my buddy, i miss the buddy i knew. I miss a good friend.

joy, disappointment and sheer exhaustion.

2008-04-29T06:33:00.000-07:00

Today, was definitely the BEST day in three long weeks.
It's amazing don't you think? How you can find out so much about different people within a few days, a few weeks. I daresay the Priya makes a really good Secretary, and Abby, Head of Operations and all the rest too. (: Council term has finally, officially kicked off! I love the 23rd council, no matter what people say about us, no matter what people think of us, no matter the mistakes we make. 'Cause we're ONE COUNCIL, and I love them all for who they are!

I'd post the pictures when i have them, but for now we just gotta wait (:

And about that other thing, i'm pretty much disappointed? More disappointed than angry. More disappointed than anything else. But whatever, I'm not gonna let it spoil my best day in three weeks!

what am i suppose to do?

2008-04-26T09:01:00.000-07:00

I am really unsure of how to react. I appreciate your gift from the bottom of my heart but, i have no idea how am i to react. There's this sense of happiness, bitterness, guilt, longing, regret, pain. Am i just too blind to see what's right in front of me?

Tisbury lane

2008-04-25T08:03:00.000-07:00

She greets the day with her hair wet
She asks them to vacate the building
Because she's got a plan they don't know yet
And if it goes wrong, there'll be no one to see

Do do do do
Do do do do
Do do do
Do do do do
Do do do do
Do do do

If she could just get the word out
God knows she's trying
They're watching her with eyes closed
She's always stuck with the old route
Does anyone knock when they barge in to beat her down?

Will you come back?
It's all she wants to know
She knows she's part of the problem too
Could she let it go?
It'd take a miracle
So that's what I'm praying for

No one can know just how she feels
She won't use the phone, she's too tired to pick it up
She's going back to the old way
She sits in the classroom to learn with the others

Do do do do
Do do do do
Do do do
Do do do do
Do do do do
Do do do
Do do

Please don't give up when it's easy
Don't you know that me and Jesus will cheer you on?
He's the only one who will be constantly everything you need

Will you come back?
It's all she wants to know
She knows she's part of the problem too
Could she let it go?
It'd take a miracle
So that's what I'm praying for

YeahShe lives on Tisbury Lane (2x)

I was so nasty to someone today, and i do feel slightly guilty for being so mean. Oh well, I didn't mean to be. I did say i was feeling highly irritable. But yeah, i still feel um, bad, about it. Sorry. Had a heart to heart talk with xiaotian, left my pencil box in school ( OH NO! ), played truth or dare and did all sorts of stupid/ funny stuff with jerome ethel yongdon and a few others too. Had fun. Laughed.

I can't wait for tomorrow morning to come! Then i can get the round-fragile-nice i ain't got no idea what it is thing from mingxun!

can't you see?

2008-04-24T05:22:00.000-07:00

Don't ask me questions, you know i don't want to answer.
Don't speak those words, you know i don't want to hear.
Don't make me scream out the secrets deep within.
Don't make me cry, in front of your eyes.

This night i cried, with someone beside.
This night i cried, under the streetlights.
This night i cried, with all my might.
This night i cried, like how a fool would cry.

Ditch that frown and bed that smile.
These words i spoke seem so foreign now.
If no one lied or if all lies died
Imagine what this world could be,
Yes imagine what this world could be like.

Even without all that,
This something else's weighing my heart down.
Everyday, every moment, it gets worse.
But i know i have to keep it inside.
Not let anything come to light.
For this shallow though i harbour must never be heard of.
'Cause it'd be worse to see you people unhappy.

Thank you demon, "ditch that frown and bed that smile" yes i'll try to stick to my words. Thank you Ethel, you're always around. Thank you Charissa, " keep smiling, cause you'll never know who's falling in love with your smile every moment." I will i will i will. Thank you Donna, for listening to my innermost thoughts without batting eyelid, without telling me what i should do. Thank you Bryan, " it's okay i'll be there for you." I know you will be. I trust that you'll always be as much as you can. Thank you Eunice bimbo, for the ever-comforting hug. Thank you wintrice " compose yourself, smile, and just act like everything's okay." Yes, that's what i'll do. Thank you Livert for your care and concern, (and for your winning drumsticks too.). Thank you CheeKeen, for the nice words that you said. Thank you phuangkenglee, for trying to cheer me up when you knew i was down. Thank you vivien for helping me stay strong and get through the rehearsal without shedding a tear. Most of all, thank you bus buddy, for your shoulder. for your comfort. for your makin' me cry out loud into the night. Thank you bus buddy. I don't know if i missed anyone out. If i did, thank you to you guys too.

I'm just shocked at how things are so different, behind those masks you people put on.
I'm just unable to get a grip of myself.
I will, 'cause i promised demon and ethel that i'd be fine; in just awhile.
I love you guys. Thank you.

sick and tired of it all

2008-04-20T08:16:00.000-07:00

I can't believe the awful truth.
Now, i'm afraid.
Of caring, of knowing, of bothering, of loving, of believing, of everything.
If that's what you people perceive me to be, i tell you now: you think way too highly of me. Because, no performer, no actor/actress, has the endurance and capacity to put on an act for such a long period of time. An act that i can gain absolutely nothing out of.

I do not need a reason to give up on faith.

But i must say, i'm thankful. For people that chose to trust and believe in me for who i am. People who remain unwavered by all the unkind words that others have said. People who are always there for me when i need them most. People like Ethel, Charissa, RussellChan, BryanLim, Xiaotian, Demon and others. I swear, i'm truly thankful for people like you guys, people that are truely, TRUE.

I don't know where i can go from here, i don't see any direction i can head towards. Everything seems to be moving so fast, at bullet speed, yet my world seems to have come to a standstill too. I'm unsure of every step i want to take, every move i wanna make. 'Cause it seems no matter how true my intentions, it ends up being viewed in another way.

I don't know. I just hope everyone cheers up soon. Forget all the heartache, all the betrayal, all the pain. I don't know, everyone, cheer up soon.

reality shock

2008-04-17T07:25:00.001-07:00

Too shocked by the cold hard facts about everything that has been going on to post much. This is such bullshit.

I am strong.

2008-04-15T06:40:00.000-07:00

'Cause my sanity''s what's keeping me safe from myself.

back to normal.

2008-04-13T03:55:00.000-07:00

This is GOOD. (:

Thank you Ethel, Thank you Russell, Thank you Nathan, Thank you claudia, Thank you Demon. Lookin' back now it's really pretty silly. ( yes i know i know demon. ) In fact it was pretty much, unecessary. You guys are in for tons of trouble now though, 'cause the crazy me is back! Hahahaha.

Now as i walk away, i know i won't turn back again.

Someone help me with math please. And revise econs with me as well.

Teardrops on my guitar.

2008-04-12T22:06:00.000-07:00

He looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.
That I want and i'm needing, everything that we could be.
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything (no not really) that i have to live without.

He talks to me, i laugh 'cause it's so damn funny.
How i can't even see, anyone when he's with me.
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all i think about at night.

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star.
He's the song in the car i keep singing don't know why i do.

He walks by me, can he tell that i can barely breathe.
And there he goes, so perfectly.
The kind of flawless i wish i could be.
She'd better hold on tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause.

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar.
The only thing that keeps me wishin' on a wishing star
He's the song in the car i keep singing don't know why i do.

So i drive home alone, as i turn out the light,
I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight.

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one that's got enough of me to break my heart.
He's the song in the car i keep singing, don't know why i do.
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough.
And he's all i needa fall into.

You look at me, i fake a smile so you won't see.

eyelashes.

2008-04-12T08:08:00.000-07:00

All i want now is to ride the Singapore Flyer.
All i want now is to receive about 20 helium balloons.
All i want now is to eat mushrooms.
All i want now is to meet up with Lorri for lunch.
All i want now is to stop coughing cause it's irritating.
All i want now is to watch the stars alone.
All i want now is to think of an amusing speech.
All i want now is to draw rainbows with stars again.

Forget yesterday; cause today i'm headin another way. (:

all this pretence is killing me inside.

2008-04-11T05:48:00.000-07:00

Demon makes me laugh. He's hilarious(ly dumb). Heh.

Talkin' to him really made me realise lotsa stuff, that i didn't know of, that i didn't think could be. It's surprising, but more disappointing than anything else. People just can't be real, honest and trustworthy can they? No one seems to be able to keep their mouths shut, even people who consider themselves trustworthy.

That aside, TSD really makes me forget all my troubles for just a while. Today i was utterly, ridiculously, embarrasingly BLUR during TS practical. To the extent that i'm now known as the BLUR one. The BLUR murderer. ( Hey i didn't mean to kill you all okay! i did save you guys in the end! hahaha. ) Shawn was being mean by saying that it was gonna be a quick deathmatch between henry and I 'cause everyone expected me to die from blur-ness ( which i DID, TWICE. ). It was hilarious though. Ethel and Henry's warm up exercise was fun too! I think i almost pulled out kevin's hair when trying to figure out who he was. And wayne tugged at my ponytail and literally distorted my features with his hands when he was trying to figure out who i was. Sounds scary? well it's TSD!

I realised that i gave up the wrong stuff for the wrong stuff. Am i even making sense? Well, i've been wasting my time for too long and hopefully next monday will save me from wasting my life away. Today was tiring, no, exhausting.

This is why i'd never tell
and this is why i'm livin' in hell.
There's gotta be a Heaven out there, somewhere
I thought there's supposed to be a God that cared.

It's painful now but just for awhile
for time will ease the pain somehow.
(Though the thought of your face
still leaves me in a daze.)

I'm tired of playing this game called Pretend.
'Cause it's left me feeling pained and drained.
As i walked that route today
it dwelled on me, it was but a fool's play.

Forget it all, that's what people say.
Just let things be, oh come what may.
And as i pen these words thy day
I pray that i may find my way.

'Cause i know i'll be okay.I've always been and must always be.

caught between.

2008-04-10T05:34:00.000-07:00

If it's anyone i'm gonna confide in on this, it's gonna be the stars at night. "cause they'd never fail to listen. They will never judge my views, they will never laugh at my fears and even though they can't dry my tears they're always there, they don't disappear.

Oh hear my fears and ease my pain, but ease that someone else's first.

tripped, but haven't necessarily fell.

2008-04-06T05:17:00.000-07:00

I can't stop thinkin'.
I can't stop lookin'.
I can't stop dreamin'.
I can't stop hoping'.

Though there's so much more to life than just you.

This world i can't seem to understand.

2008-04-02T05:24:00.000-07:00

Just when i thought everything's startin' to turn out fine, things take a turn and got worse.

To be frank, the results came as a huge surprise for me. Except that i can't decide if this "surprise" is good or bad. It's depressing to see and hear the things people say. It's scary how hypocritical this world really is. I thought these things wouldn't happen here, i guess no place is perfect.

Like what a friend of mine said, some kinds of happiness is really temporary. It's awesome one moment and the next, it leads to something not so pleasant anymore. I know i was granted my happiness, at the expense of someone else's pain and sorrow. And it's really agonizing because i'd honestly rather be the upset one instead, not because i'm trying to be gracious in any way, but because i know this sorrow will fade but the other person's happiness will last.

Nonetheless, i'd like to thank LesterPhuangKengLee for being there and cheerin' me up when i'm down, despite not feeling fantastic himself. RussellChanFanHe for letting me know i'd always be top in his heart no matter what. ( thank you bestie.) SeanieFooYongDon for makin' me laugh and smile with his lame jokes. BryanLimWeiLoong for um, being more anxious and worried than i am? ClarissaKohChunJie, FelinaTan, NathanDaniel, JasonOngWeiHao, ETHELTANLINGTING, and everyone else who showed care and concern ( of course i won't forget my fantastic class of 08A04 ! ). You all are awesome. And Jiaying, talking to you today really made me feel, safer, in some way. It's good to know that we won't let stupid words that others speak come between us. (: Thanks babe, you're loved!

Unfortunately, there're many others who think otherwise. I don't know how i've offended anyone, but if i did, i'm truely sorry and i did not mean it. However, i will not bother explaining myself because: The people who love you, don't need it. And the people who hate you, won't believe it.